05-30 May, Koh Samui Thailand

05-30 May 2007: Koh Samui

The nicest weather yet greets us for our departure from Phi Phi. Doing our best pack beast imitations we trudge the ½ mile to the ferry doc. The original plan involved breakfast near the dock, however that was modified when the restaurant was not yet open. A pineapple and two rotis became the brekkie of champions.

Fresh pineapple is available all the time everywhere from fruit stalls and vendors. They cut it into strips; poke it with a skewer, and viola! Pineapple on a stick. Usually around 40 Baht for a whole pineapple. Rotis [row-tees] are another yummy- also called Thai Pancake, it’s a crepe-like delicacy filled with just about anything, topped with sweetened condensed milk (referred to simply as “milk”) and/or chocolate syrup. JD prefers banana topped with chocolate (surprised?) while KK will branch off and try other things- she has currently had mango, banana, and pineapple in assorted combinations. Neither of us has tried egg or nutella. We have learned to request “No Butter”. To give a nice brown crispness, the vendors plop a spoonful of deep yellow stuff onto the griddle after the roti has “set”. They call it butter. Anything that is still solid and showing no signs of separation in 103-degree heat is not from any mammal we are familiar with, so we opt out. If it’s solid on the outside, probably will be solid on the inside.

In true Thai Buddhist fashion, the time the ferry leaves is obviously the time it was supposed to leave, therefore the ferry has left on time. The secret to travel here is to not only accept that mindset, but to actually embrace it. So far, much easier for JD than KK…

We had been told, by three different sources, the Surat Thani bus leaves Krabi at 11:00. Surat Thani is the mainland ferry dock town. The Phi Phi ferry should arrive in Krabi by 10:30. When the travel vouchers are purchased they just have Boat-Bus-Boat written in English, everything thing else is in Thai, including times. Our little stickers are green this trip, with Koh Samui written on them. It really is the local version of “If found, make sure this poor farang is pointed in the correct direction”, and as such is very effective. In perfect lemming fashion, you keep an eye on the other green stickers to see who seems to know where to go.

The Krabi ferry dock is still an impressive modern structure, built before the wave, and none the worse for wear afterwards. The transport company has an office just inside the terminal. A large blow-up photo of our ticket stub is on the wall with an arrow pointing inside. Simple, yet effective. You turn in your onward vouchers, and receive two new vouchers. About a dozen of us, including a poor bloke with a busted ankle, scurry to the bus loading area, as we are all under the impression the bus is leaving really soon. JD had unceremoniously dragged KK out of the toilette to catch the phantom bus… When the other green stickers run, you run after, then ask questions…

It turns out the bus doesn’t leave until 12:30. “Time you eat” are buzz words of the ticket desk lady. The transport company has a reasonably priced and decent quality food stand, which we utilize to stop the long-morning-no-real-food bad attitude death spiral.

Thai busses: There are four distinct types of bus in Thailand. The basic diesel “school” bus: no a/c, bad seats, typically a municipal bus. The next level bus will have ok seats, and possibly a functioning a/c. Oftentimes the bargain fare bus for short runs between towns and districts. Then there is the first-class bus: a/c and video sound system, comfy, but not spacious seating. The be-all end-all of busses is the Executive Class: 24 seats, toilette, NBA player legroom, full surround Dolby 5.1 and plasma screens, quality curtains over the windows. We have only ever seen Japanese tourists getting on and off Executive Class busses.

This brings us to our Thai “bus” adventure during the last trip: Using a booking agent we set up a “bus” for the 3 hour overland trip from Ao Nang to Phuket. Having been aware of the different types of bus, we specifically asked (in English of course…) if it was first class or executive, and were assured it was indeed a first class bus. Here is the exact transcript of that particular experience:

“English is spoken many places. Sometimes it is not really understood… in either direction. Base definitions of certain words don’t necessarily follow through in interpretation. Dog is dog, 50 is 50, water is water, however… Same-Same does not always mean The Same, Hotel does not always mean a tall building with rooms and services, Taxi means any method of transport that gets paid, and Bus most definitely does not always mean large multi passenger transport device. We had booked what we understood to be an air-conditioned bus to travel the 3 hours overland back to Patong. In our minds this meant the plush double-stacked tour buses with the reclining seats and a bathroom on board. (We’d seen many other tourists happily driving past us in this lap of luxury.) What we ended up in was twelve-passenger van with twelve passengers, each, like ourselves, carrying all their worldly possessions on their backs. It was, in a word, cozy. This van looked like a characture of the Beverly Hillbillies truck: Top heavy with rope and twine holding about a 1,000 pounds of bags on a roof rack rated for 500, and no room for “personal space” on the inside. (Ok for us; we lost all concept of personal space eons ago…) It was not what we had envisioned for a three-hour ride.”

That experience in mind, we were a bit leery of what type of “bus” we would end up on for the four-hour ride to Surat Thani. Imagine our joy at seeing a first-class bus when we finally wandered out to the loading area. Some guidebooks do warn of opportunists that ride with the luggage looking for easily resold items… If you live in fear, you will certainly attract the focus of it. Just like in the West: Go with the official brands (Big Names) and you minimize the risk. Can you see Greyhound dealing with the press from that kind of issue?

The official consort for the trip was a twenty-something Thai gentleman with a denim jacket and nice biker-dude wrap-around shades. Almost all transport methods have these consorts to check tickets, answer questions, and offer services at the end of the trip. Sometimes it is the best way to get cheaper lodging and services. They differ from touts by the fact they are employed by the transport company. He came along and replaced our vouchers yet again, with ferry-company issued tickets. JD, with his consummate NY cynicism, figured that denim-dude had figured an opportunity in reselling transport vouchers- for we discovered later that just walking up to the ferry is less than half the price of purchasing a ticket in advance. Even if he was looking to improve his own lot in life, he was still service oriented. He checked with all the passengers to confirm lodging, and ferry-to-lodging transfer. He had a detailed map of Samui to help you visualize the ferry docks relationship to the rest of the island.

OK, another quick note- there will be a few of these to try and provide insight to the machinations of the Thai mindset and economy: Service industry people, especially those in transport, are a gregarious lot. Sure they are looking to make a Baht, however at the same time they know happy tourists = even more tourists. Culturally they are already naturally curious, small talk is consummate politeness. “Where do you come from?” Which is asking where you were earlier, not necessarily your country of origin, and “Where are you going (today)?”, are two primary questions you can hear almost anywhere. On a bus or boat when they inquire, “You have booking already?” they do have a few lodgings at your destination that they are authorized to negotiate for, and if they ask “you have transfer?” you can almost always be assured they will be cheaper than anything you could book in advance. Cheapest can always be found with work, however the risk/reward of hauling your belongings to a distant access road to possibly save a buck is not worth it in our humble opinion.

Koh Samui:

Koh Samui is located in the southern portion of the Gulf of Thailand. It is the third largest island in Thailand, the largest being Phuket. Ancient merchant mariners from China’s Hainan Dao Island where the first recorded settlers on Koh Samui, potentially as far back as 1500-2000 years ago. The Hainanese used the island as a re-watering/ stretch the legs stop off, as well as an “I’m done being on the boat, this place is pretty, I’ll stop here Thank You very much” destination. Reportedly Aristotle has the island indicated, namelessly, on one of his world maps from ancient Greece. It is also the ferry launch point for the infamous Full Moon Party on Koh Phan Nga [kaw pahn-nyah]. The islands primary economic base is coconut. Coconut milk, coconut oils, coconut meats, coconut husk, just about everything and anything coconut. The close second is tourism. The island has a variety of natural and man-made features, aside from the beaches, including three different waterfalls and the Big Buddha.

The ferry to Samui is very modern. Lounge seats, cushioned bench seats, a small café, and lots of space. We arranged for transport with our consort, who was right there when we disembarked to point us to the correct van. Na Thon [nah tawn] is the mainland ferry dock and largest “city” on the island. Koh Samui is about ten years behind the Phuket as far as commercial tourist development goes. There is a good infrastructure, sealed roads, power, water, phone and internet. The northern and eastern beaches have the best quality sand and are the focus of most development. Lamai Beach, the smaller of the two main beach resort towns, is where we are heading.

Green Villa “resort” is were we found our first US$8.50 lodging (300 Baht). That kind of money will get you a small dingy hovel with a 2-inch thick old foam pad on a plywood platform, a squeaky fan, NASTY bathroom, cold-water shower, a single bare fluorescent bulb and sampler of assorted creepy-crawlies. After the first night we “upgraded” to the $11 pool view hut: Same type of sleeping platform, somewhat cleaner bathroom, and a large colony of small ants using the bed as a highway. Yes, it is the tropics, and there are far more ants than people in the world, however we draw the line at sleeping with them. JD has been carrying the borax-based Ant-Rid from Oz. A few large drops strategically placed along the ant run handles the issue. KK had the less than pleasant experience of washing assorted bug bits out of her hair. We are pretty sure they were from the hatch on Phi Phi.

Lamai proper is a few kilometers north. A solid walk on the beach, or a grueling walk along the road. We find quite a few nicer accommodations and have decided we do like a few creature comforts like actual mattresses and bathrooms you don’t feel the need to shower after you have showered in them. Air con and TV are just bonuses. We rented a scooter from the property to make the move… JD, very comfortable with left hand drive at this point, as well as the Thai attitude towards driving, felt it would be easier and cheaper to shuttle all of our stuff than to try and hire transport to go less than 4k. Marina Villa has nice spacious bungalows, daily room service, cheap internet, a great pool, decent restaurant, massage salal and fronts a nice section of beach: 1,000 Baht per night. We consider it a bargain. The grounds are well maintained, and the staff friendly. We are quite happy. We end up happy for 10 days! We just settled in and enjoyed chillin’.

Scooters are readily available for hire everywhere. Seattle has coffee stands- Samui has scooter rentals. Everyone has rental scooters: Hotels, guest houses, massage parlors, travel agents, scooter repair shops, restaurants, some of the girly bars, and even book stores. 200 Baht for an automatic, 150 Baht manual shift, 24 hours rental period. Samui does have the highest motor vehicle incident rate, due primarily to all the farangs renting scooters. Most of these tourists have little or no riding experience at all. Picture a first time driver on any street in NYC during rush hour, and have almost all signs in a language he/she cannot read. Throw in stray dogs, over eager coconut truck drivers, and a certain local flexibility of traffic rules.

That being said, we love renting scooters. Once JD got KK to stop trying to steer by his nipples it has been a good time. JD is comfortable in a flexible rule environment, and is highly adaptable to local conditions. The two most important things to remember are: One: Be Ever Vigilant and Two: NO MATTER what you may believe, the bigger/faster vehicle has the right-of-way. Always. Period. These apply whether it is your lane, your green light, or your section of sidewalk. The kicker is the frequent road signs reminding drivers to stay left. Written only in big English letters. The locals consider left or right lane driving to be more a product of mood rather than any kind of traffic law. If the right side gets you there quicker, then you go up the right, though rule TWO is still in effect.

Our fat farang asses blew out the rear tire not once, but twice in a single 24 hour period… The first time we were in Chewang [shah-wing] (Wayne and Garth speak Thai!). A resort bellman patched it up for us. The next morning we were about 10 K south of town exploring the countryside. While JD nursed it back to trade it in, KK started walking. JD did go back and pick her up eventually… It turns out this was the third flat in two days on this particular tire. It wasn’t our beefy selves; it was repetitive mechanical failure. Since we regularly see four Thai adults on scooters with no tire issues, we were happy to know we don’t weigh much more than your average Thai family…

We fall into a nice relaxing routine: KK is up early for a beach walk, comes back and lets JD know it is time to eat and hang by the pool/sea. During the hang time assorted yumminess vendors walk by with their wares. Our two favorites are the fruit/grilled corn guys and the Meat-on-a-Stick/Papaya salad ladies.

The fruit guys watch for any subtle signal, blink, nod, finger lift, ear wiggle, anything. They can spot your intentions 50 meters away easily. They will hold up a couple of fruits, you indicate which hand is holding what you want. Pineapple is our typical call. The vendor will take a whole unprepped pineapple and in minutes skin it, score it, vertically slice it, add skewers, then bring it, two bananas, a baggy of coconut meat to your chaise. 50 Baht. Mmmmmmm. Did I mention these guys carry all their stuff across their shoulders? All up and down the beach? In the heat of the tropical day? A long bamboo slat yoke carries a small charcoal grill and corn on one side, and a foam cooler (Esky for the Ozzies..LOL) with the produce on the other. Assorted knives hang from a pouch attached to the pole.

The Portable Kitchen Ladies have a similar set-up. A full basket of produce and supplies on one end, and a grill and assorted Meats-on-a-Stick on the opposite. It is pretty much your basic food stall in miniature. Similar rules apply. Certain ladies are busy the minute they walk by. Others take the overflow. Some never seem to have any customers. JD opts to use the one that the actual cook from our property restaurant buys lunch from… The procedure is very hands on. You squat by the grill end and can pick and choose amongst the skewers. Some have chicken (thigh meat), some have organ meats, and there are full wing segments and partial wing segments. All have been par or pre-cooked. Place your choices on a small section of grill and listen to the ladies all gossip in Thai. They all had a smile and giggle with JD working the grill. Men do cook in Thailand, however women are always the ones in charge of a kitchen. When it’s heated to your satisfaction, it is dished up. The green papaya salads are what occupy the proprietress’ time. She will custom mix each one in a wooden bowl to the diners specs. We order one for KK with just a bit of fish sauce (Nam Plaa- “fish water”) and the tiniest bit of fresh chili. KK is still developing her Thai taste buds, and these particular chilies are very Thai. She enjoys the salad even though it is too hot for her to finish.

Most days have the mid afternoon T-boomers that drive us inside for a few hours. Happy Hour and cards fill the time. Cartoons from our youth dubbed in Thai are part of the indoor entertainment. ALL of the old Hanna-Barbera and Merry Melody ‘toons are here: Quick Draw McGraw and Baba Louie, Snagglepuss, Hong Kong Fooey, unedited Bugs and company, Yogi Bear, Scooby, Josie, and pretty much any other politically incorrect, yet still very funny, cartoons of the 20th century. Many are dubbed in Thai, though some are still just in English. The Flintstones in Thai is truly an experience to be had, not described. There is also FOX news, BBC news, Bloomberg, the Australia channel, a German channel, French channel, and dozens of Thai channels.

A can of tonic a day keeps malaria away… as well as mozzie coils and for KK, DEET. JD has returned to his baseline “chomped occasionally” state, while KK is still delectably delicious to man and beast. The biting bug factor is nowhere near the level of the Far North QLD or SW New Zealand.

JD was on an evening walkabout and heard Elvis singing in a pub not 50 meters from our place. It sounded like a good Elvis, so it required investigation. Sure enough “Almost-Old-Elvis” (Not obese, but not 60’s movie either) complete with rhinestone-spangled jumpsuit was performing in the Sir Winston Churchill Bar. It turns out he is a German ex-pat. Samui is chock full of Ex-Pats. English, Ozzie, German, French, Italian, and others. Most of them marry Thai women and then open bars catering to their traveling countrymen. The Sir Winston Churchill Bar is owned by an Irish bloke… OK, hell hasn’t frozen over; it’s really a sixty-something bloke from Liverpool named Dave. He moved here 10 years ago, and took over this bar 5 years ago. He married a Thai woman and adopted her young son. Dave truly enjoys watching holidaymakers having a good time, and not just because they are having it in his bar. Tonight there was a twenty-something with dreadlocks up on stage with Elvis trying to figure out the leg-wobble. Good fun all around.

We decided to devote a day to exploration by scooter. We cruise up to the north coast, about 20 kilometers (13 miles-ish). As we pass the northern town of Bo Phut we are waved off the road into a vacant lot by a uniformed police officer. There are a number of vehicles in the lot. We assume it is a random drug/drinking inspection (Both issues are taken very seriously in Thailand). As the lot fills with no other police presence, we figure it is a piece of heavy construction equipment coming the other way. The officer directing things has no English, but scooters all jockey to position at the front of the lot to wait. After twenty minutes or so the officer waves and says something in Thai. Engines start up and scooters haul ass. We know a hint when we see one, though still surprised we hadn’t seen any reason for the stoppage. As we travel the next 6 kilometers there is a combination of police officers and military personnel stationed every fifty meters along the road… The Thai flag is displayed at least once every ten meters. That is a lot of flags and bodies. We find out later the Princess has arrived on the island for holiday. This was the route taken by her motorcade.

Touts come in many categories. Some are just casually letting you know about a product or service. Some even have a product or service you might be interested in. Both of these types politely accept a “no” or “No Thanks” and will leave you be. The top two types of touts for shear audacity, pestering ability and downright deceit are Indian tailoring shop owners, and Time-Share kidnappers. The advantage you have over the shop owner is the ability to keep walking. Like a funnel web spider, they can’t/won’t stray too far from their lair. DO NOT be sucked in with the promise of air-con “It’s cool inside, you just rest here…” Once inside the lair, these guys could sell Donald Trump a haircut…

The Time Share Kidnappers are much sneakier and harder to shake off. They come in many shapes: A fellow countrymen looking for help, The very friendly farang looking to help you, The guy with a deal too good to keep to himself, The free scratch card guys, and The Scooter Rider with A Deal are the most common forms of this particular vermin. They have an advantage of mobility and multiple languages (Many are fluent in at least three, sometimes five or more), along with absolutely no fear of rejection, or sense of personal space or propriety. They will pretend to need help, to offer help, and without guile use guilt, berating, and protest. They promise a fair exchange of reward (Meals, cash, lodging, etc) for your time and energy. They will swear on any convenient deity it won’t take more than ninety minutes. A free taxi will whisk you away to spend three or four hours saying “no”.

We are old hands at messing with the kidnappers. It becomes a bit like sport; leading them on, playing the bait, and then revealing, “we did it two weeks ago”. The longer we work them, the less opportunity they have to trap some poor innocent. On very rare occasions they do produce a property worth checking out. We did take some time to visit Samui Peninsula and enjoy a number of free iced coffees. We actually played it so well we made it to third tier management trying to make us an offer we continued to refuse…

It was time for a date night. We haven’t been spending enough time with each other. We tried for Elvis, who called in sick. The next option was the “Smooth Pub- Live Music Every Night” (Hey- it’s the full sign…). A three-piece Thai cover band playing everything from Willie Nelson to Top Forty. These guys work seven nights a week. KK came in with a large water bottle, and earned the moniker “Miss Water”. During a set the bass player (named Sawapiri) came over and chatted. After that we were “Mr. and Mrs. America”. He is the PR guy in the band with a remote transmitter that lets him walk out to the street and play. During his set he probably smokes a pack or two, allowing him a great Louie Armstrong rendition. We did get to Elvis the following week.

During our scooter explorations we found “The Mall”. Tesco Lotus grocery/dept store, Cineplex, local Home Depot, food court and shops. Of course the food court involved lots of curries, chilies, fish and coconuts, though there is a KFC, DQ, and Dunkin Donuts. We love to wander in foreign groceries. Tesco Lotus did not let us down. Unique local and regional foods, 140 different varieties of rice, and a snack food aisle that was entirely seafood based. JD had to try the dried spiced cuttlefish as well as the Fire Hot dried fish snacks. Neither was bad, in fact the dried fish snacks are pretty tasty. The cuttlefish has a mystery crunchy bit that is off-putting. JD is not sure if it is the eye or the beak… These yummies are also sold with popcorn at the movies…

We did take the time to see two movies while on Samui: The Shooter and Pirates 3. There is a three tier seating system- Regular 120 Baht (US$3.75), Honeymoon 140 Baht (US$4.28) and Opera 250 Baht per person. Honeymoon seats have a moveable armrest and partially recline. Opera seats have a small table and come with blankets. At the end of previews everyone respectfully stands for a short film with a moving soundtrack that follows the rule of His Royal Majesty the King. The sound system is top notch, and the volume has one setting- we managed to hang on to what fillings we have left.

KK found SPA Samui, a resort that specializes in cleansing fasts. She decided she needed a good cleaning out. JD is moral support. He doesn’t mind adjusting his diet; he just won’t adjust it to nothing… It is a ten-day program. They have a chiropractor on staff that supervises the fasts and cleanings. He is a retired Canadian, been here about five years. They have great food in the kitchen. The only two real negatives are the non-user friendly beach and the absolutely vile mattress.

Between fiber/clay drinks, supplements and colemas we find time to see the Namuang Waterfall 1, as well as the Big Buddha and Wat Plai Laem. Timing the day is critical, as KK is on a very procedurally oriented program. At the end she is ready for food that can be chewed…

The last few days on the island are in Bo Phut, the little ex-fishing village up north. We had found a great organic juice and food place there, and thought the place looked cute. It is an ex-pat community. That means pretty much all the restaurants are western. The local price structure is the highest we have run into so far: Basic Thai meals are 120-180 Baht. That is almost triple the norm. We do manage to hunt down a few hidden Thai places. Much to our surprise there are no food stalls. Bummer that.

The next phase of the trip has been arranged: Two days in Bangkok, then on to Bali/Lombok, Indonesia for three and a half weeks. On the return to Thailand we have a four-day stopover in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

29 April to 04 May- Koh Phi Phi

29 Apr- 04 May, Koh Phi Phi to Koh Samui

Up early to meet the sawngthaew, an extended bed pick-up (Ute for the Ozzies…) with a roof and bench seats on the bed, that is taking us to the ferry that will be transporting us to Koh Phi Phi (yes- "Pee Pee"). In probably the first recorded case in Thaime history, it arrived at exactly 8:20, the precise time it was supposed to! We were the first two passengers. The “crew” is two young ladies, a driver and another assistant. They check your receipt, pat a color-coded sticker onto your shirt (More on that in a moment), and expertly stack your bags on the back platform. Their English is minimal, however the job doesn’t really require advanced second language skills. We get on just fine with our minimalist Thai and smiles. At the third pick-up, a Chinese tourist and family hopped on. They were just day-tripping to Phi Phi, so were not encumbered by baggage. The father realized he had not gotten his change at the hotel desk and was trying to get the sawngthaew to turn around. He had some English, and that was the language he was trying to meet the attendants in the middle with. We were maybe half a klick away when a professionally dressed lady (business, not pleasure… though I guess they can be the same thing) came zipping along side on a scooter, waving a fistful of Baht. The father was very pleased, and we all had a good chuckle about the Thai sense of duty. I can’t imagine any concierge from a hotel in the Western world dropping everything, jumping in his/her car, and chasing down a guest they already know will be returning later in the day to give them their change.

A hurried and somewhat anxious discussion had begun amongst the attendants and driver. The driver was gesturing at his watch, and the attendants were furiously flipping through the reservation sheets. After more than a few words, the driver turned the truck around and headed back up the street. Lo and behold, he stopped in front of our hotel… Phra Nang Place. The Ozzie couple that had been in our old room got on the truck. The male half had mentioned the previous evening they were going to Phi Phi today as well. JD had just assumed they made transfer arrangements with a different company as there are many, even in a tiny town like Ao Nang. They squeezed in and looked at us and exclaimed, “You let them leave us behind!” Smiling while they said it. We joked about the unique experience of the sawngthaew being there right on schedule. They were also Thailand veterans and had a solid grasp of Thaime.

If I haven’t defined Thaime yet: Imagine a country the size of Texas living on a time scale that makes island-time seem like New York City light. The expression “New York Minute” isn’t even a myth here. On most vacation islands you relax and let the day take you where it may. Clocks exist, mostly to define the boundaries of happy hour. Apply this idea of time as an existential reference point to an entire country. Thais understand the conceptual nature of the idea of “schedule”; they just really don’t have a physical marker or waypoint to actually wrap the working model around. I am fairly positive that it has something to do with Buddhist tenets, as 90% of Thais are Buddhist.

The Ao Nang marina is west of town proper. There are any number of powerboats, longtails and a few different ferries in the mix. Ferries tie up “rafted”. You will sometimes need to walk across three or four ferries to get to yours. That’s why you are given the color-coded sticker. No language barrier with color. Crew simply look at your sticker and point you to the correct boat.

The 9:00 ferry to Phi Phi, which is also the 9:30 ferry to Phi Phi (also known as the 8:30, 10:15 and on rare occasions the 10:00), is the SAME boat that is the 9:00 Railay ferry to Phi Phi. One boat, two locations: space-time continuum hole? Magic dust? Nope. Thaime! The boat leaves at 9:40, stops at Railay around 9:55, and heads off to Phi Phi for an “11:00” arrival. Along the way Chicken Island is off the starboard side. Approaching from the north you can clearly see the “chicken head” pillar for which the island is named. As you come even with the island it becomes distinctly phallic. We can only imagine “Big Wanker Island” wouldn’t have the same family appeal as a tourist draw…though you never really know.

The Phi Phi ferry dock, a solidly built concrete and steel project, survived the tsunami. The boat arrives on “Thaime”. It’s only 11:05. The day was moist. The day was hot. The day was most definitely sticky. The packs are heavier, us being closer to the equator and all. KK parks herself about 250 meters in and instructs JD to return when he has found shelter. On Phi Phi, the low season is more relative than in other locations. It is considered the busiest tourist destination in the country. A staggeringly high percentage of all visitors to Thailand pass through Phi Phi sometime on their trip. “Low season” starts in three days. No one is cutting slack on rates first. JD finds a decent fan room for two nights, and we will search out a different deal without hauling 70 kilos on our backs.

Quick Thai Language Primer (1):

Farang: [fah-rahng], “non-Thai person”, most commonly westerners. Not derogatory or an insult, just what we are.

Krab/Ka: polite positive evocative at the end of a sentence or statement. Krab is used by men, Ka, women. This grammatical propriety is why many Thais end every English sentence with “yes”, the nearest English equivalent.

Sawadee krab/ka: [sah-wah-dee krahb/kah] “hello”, general greeting, can also be used as goodbye, similar to Hawaiian “aloha”

Khun sabai dee mai: [coon sah-bah dee my] “how are you”

Sabai dee krab/ka: “I’m fine”, Mai Sabai Dee: “I’m not fine”

Chai: “yes”

Mai chai: “no”, literally-“not yes”

Pawp gon mai: [pope gone my], “ see you again”

Khawp Khun Krab/Ka: [kawp coon krahb/kah], “thank you”

Nueng, saeng, saam, sii, haa, haw, jeat, phaet, gaow, sip, sip-et, sip-saeng, yii-sip, yii-sip-saeng, saam-sip, nueng-rawy, nueng-pan: [nung, song, sahm, see, ha, hoe, jet, pad, gow, sip, sip-et, sip-song, yee-sip, yee-sip-song, sahm-sip, nung-roy, nung-pahn]. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 20, 22, 30,100,1000.”

Pet: “spicy”, pet-pet “really spicy”. Thais who see a farang order pet-pet, and actually eat it, are very impressed. Most are impressed to see a farang have any spice at all. JD has adapted quickly to Thai-hot.

Prik: [preek] chili peppers, “Prik nam Plaa”: chilies in fish sauce- a condiment

Nit noi: [knit-noy] “very little”, “very tiny”

“Ph” is always a hard “p”, “Th” is always hard “t”, and “K” is most often a glottal “g” with a hint of “c” as in cat.

All right, enough of that for now. It is better to be a successful mimic here than figuring it out on paper. Thais love to assist, as long as you ask for assistance. It is bad form to presume a person wants help, and you and they both would “lose face” if you were corrected offhand. However, if you ask, they will gleefully attempt to help you with enunciation and vocabulary.

We had spent some time on Phi Phi during the last trip. We left the island about 4 weeks pre-tsunami (PT), and frankly we were a bit nervous about what we would find this trip. How did our favorite eateries fare? How did the people we had met do? Had the tone of the island survived?

Phi Phi shows much more residual visual of the tsunami damage. The palms are widespread and gapped and a few debris piles are still present. At the narrow point you can see from one side to the other. The developed region is on a spit of land that connects two mountainous ends. The spit is maybe two kilometers long, and spreads from about a 100 meters at its narrowest to a shy 400 meters at its widest. The highest point is about 4 meters above the high tide line. The tsunami was almost 7 meters high. The math is pretty straightforward. There are still over 1,000 unaccounted for, some say closer to 2,000. A small memorial meditation garden has been created, and is tucked off the beaten path for privacy.

The island was originally not going to be re-developed. I suspect that idea lasted as long as Britney’s first marriage. It has been re-developed with a vengeance. Many of the (PT) businesses were able to build again thanks to generous assistance from assorted local, national and international groups and the Thai government. Many new enterprises also saw an opportunity to get in while the gettin’ was good. There is now a lot more concrete box construction instead of the original “tropical” wood and thatch. Does it make sense? Absolutely. Is the island still a recreational paradise? Yep. Have the residents added a layer of jaded resolution to their everyday lives? Sadly yes. Can you still find the neat places to stay? If you look hard enough. How about actual happy residents? They are also still there: just further off the paving stone paths. What cannot be rebuilt are the ages of character that are absorbed by a place. I’m sure that over time a new character will develop. For us there is a sense of mourning for that which was, while adapting to and exploring that which is now .

The island has no roads. Paving brick and dirt pathways are the thoroughfares. There had been two of three motorized scooters (PT), mostly to move construction material around. Now there are quite a few more. Not city, or even village, amounts, but enough that you are very aware, especially on an island with no roads. Bicycles have had a HUGE population explosion. They seem to have bred like gerbils. NEVER leave two bikes alone and unsupervised. Next thing you know you’ll have thirty or forty. You can spend a lot of time dodging bikes and puddles while wandering about. Many businesses have PT and rebuilding photo montages. The mosque has a large aerial photo taken the day after the event mounted on the outer doors. The Chao Ley had, originally settled Phi Phi, as well as most of the Andaman islands. The Chao Ley are a fisher peoples that are predominantly Muslim. It shows were it itself had been, with its new location also indicated. It is the primary school on the island, and is still in the process of being rebuilt.

Phi Phi has been enjoying the same afternoon thunder-boomers as Ao Nang/Railay. Here they leave large brown lakes in the places that the “street” used to be. Strategic placement of boards and bricks allow one to fjord the largest of these ponds, provided you can be fleet of foot and delicate in your landings. We stay dry most of the time…

Climbing is excellent on Phi Phi. The primary wall is relatively easy to access (For our climbing mates: A 40 meter 5.0 (Yosemite) scramble to the base, after a nice beach walk) with at least a dozen 5.10a (Yosemite) and under bolted/slinged routes, as well as a few dozen high-end climbs, a few multi-pitch, and fantastic views to admire. We head up to the rock about 11:00. It was F*%# - F*%# HOT! Another one of those river of sweat, spontaneous pore eruption scenarios. JD led a 5+ (5.8 Yosemite) and pissed at least a liter of water from his elbows on the way up. Rappelling is the new way down. KK is pleased to not have to lower JD’s bulk, and JD likes to rap anyway. Makes him feel “Commando”, and not in a Kramer way… A rope-gun (guide) is with a couple on a nearby route. An English bloke. He lets us know the sun swings past the face after noon, and the rock cools quickly after that. His client’s head down and he pops into a conveniently placed hammock for a lunchtime siesta. His next group will arrive in about an hour.

We sit in the shade and drink another 3 liters of water, waiting for the sun to move along. The English bloke had a classic Thai story: A year ago he showed up for a three-week holiday. Fell in love with his massage gal, then married her so he could bring her back to England. Her visa is almost set, and they go back for a visit in three weeks. Odds are against them actually staying there, but he does want her to meet his family and mates.

MOMS-SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH- DO NOT READ!:

He also shared another story: Two weeks ago another climbing guide was rope-gunning a 6a+ (about a 10c) with an experienced partner and she was at the chains. A little Thai bloke was on belay, and both the bloke and the belayer watched her daisy into the chains (daisy is a specific type of strap with a locking carabineer. It is strong enough to tow trucks) and she announced the fact as well. The belayer released a large amount of slack, as is procedure, so she could thread the chains, prepare to rappel, etc. Next thing both of them knew the rope was screaming through the belay device and she was in freefall. The little Thai fellow tried to stop the rope, but it was too late. She landed on the rocks in the belay zone. It was not her time. A shattered hip and pelvis, plus significant spinal trauma was the eventual assessment. The English bloke immediately hauled ass to the “hospital” down the trail and about 400 meters up the beach. No doctor on duty. No doctor on the island! They gave him an army surplus canvas stretcher and told him to bring her down… None of the climbers that day had much in first aid training. They did know they needed splints. A popular item here is the beach mat. A bamboo like roll-up made of artificial fibers, two people can lie on one comfortably (We have one), and it is also a great rope protector, place to sit while between climbs, etc. When rolled it is solid. They strapped her to a dozen or so and then got her on the stretcher. A line of thirty or forty people passed her down the quite steep and treacherous access trail to a waiting speedboat. She was whisked off to Phuket, about an hour and a half away across choppy seas. She is fine, in a partial body caste and in good spirits. This story came up because we had been discussing visa runs.

Visa runs are a regular process here in Thailand. When you have a tourist, “O” or “B” visa, you need a stamp every 60 or 90 days. Extended tourist visas need a stamp every 60. If you have a “VOA” (Visa on Arrival) you need a stamp every thirty days, and a fresh airline ticket demonstrating your ass is leaving within the next thirty. The gravity gal was supposed to leave for her visa run the next day… Any number of travel companies offer “visa runs”, bus or train trips across the nearest border for a “day of shopping” and a new stamp on the way back into the country. If you overstay your visa, it’s a 500 Baht a day fine, plus you face the wrath of an overworked and underpaid immigration officer. I mention underpaid mostly because the only way to avoid the Thai penal system after the first twenty-four hours is to make a significant donation to the Immigration Officials Happy Life Fund in addition to the fine. It’s definitely cheaper to leave the country… No one knows if a body cast is an acceptable excuse. Seriously. The guide hadn’t heard yet, as she was just leaving for her run the day before we met him. We need to do a visa run in mid-June. We plan to fly to Indonesia for ours… and no climbing the day before.

We found a neat little place. Chunut House was a collection of hillside wood and thatch huts, built on stilts. The room had fans, and a full mosquito net covering the bed. A large lanai with a low sitting table and cushions rounded out the picture. Happy Hour on the Lanai was born. Phi Phi, being the party-friendly hamlet it is, has a number of stores and stalls to purchase beverages and snacks. They also sell drinking kits: A small ,or large, beach bucket, a flask size bottle of liquor (a full size bottle for the big bucket), a small bottle of herbal liqueur, and a can of soda/tonic/mixer. All you need to do is fill the bucket with ice and dump everything else in, put in the provided straw- Instant Party! We tried a mix of SangSom Thai rum, “White Shark” herbal liqueur (that’s what JD calls it- The label is completely in Thai with a white shark logo), and a lime soda. It was really quite tasty and refreshing. During Happy Hour the PM thunder boomers rolled in. Cocktails and 500-bid ,our card game of choice, amidst the hiss crackle and boom of a monsoon season storm. A perfect way to unwind after a long day of… well, maybe unwind isn’t the right word, a perfect way to de-stress? Loosen up? OK, it’s just fun to hang on the porch, have a cocktail and play cards. We did go climbing after all, which was sort of like work. Exertion anyway. Who says work can’t be fun too?

The storm continued through to the next day. Not pissing down the whole time, there were periods of drizzle and lighter gray patches. Only to those from Seattle can the difference cloud color be considered a change in weather. We found a great little bookstore/café complete with wireless. As long as you spent 60 Baht (US$1.80) you can surf all day. A mocha was 65 Baht. We had coffees, surfed the net, people watched and had a general lazy day of it. People watching in Thailand easily competes with people watching in Vegas. Different cast of characters, but always something interesting walking, riding or ambling by.

All of our fly-fishing friends have told us about the insect hatching rhythms. Having lived on the river, it was a regular event. A large percentage of insects time their breeding cycle to the full and new moons. It is the day before the full moon. We had only really noticed evening and night hatches until now… Mid afternoon was a cloud of a different color altogether. Tens of thousands of winged things were flitting, flopping and darting everywhere. Mostly they seemed to be a large ant or small termite like beastie. Lots of different varieties though. Significantly more than just an average swarming. Toads, frogs, lizards and geckos were having an absolute feast day. Normally nocturnal and cautious, they didn’t care if you went eye to eye. A couple of the hoppers just sat in one spot spinning in circles. No matter which way they faced, there was more food! JD spotted a huge variegated gecko on the hut wall, easily 10 inches long (25cm). He (the gecko) was a cooperative poser. The second wave was around 10 pm. Even the mozzie net was breached, overwhelmed by shear numbers. The critters were not biters, but even a benign bug is going to wake you up crawling across your neck and face. Sleep was not deep and restful this particular evening.

Our 15th wedding anniversary was greeted by AM thundershowers. After brekkie, KK decided she wanted a pedicure for her present, then we both had Thai massage, and dinner at Pum Thai restaurant. Since we haven’t had the chance to spend much time together, it was good to become reacquainted…

The next morning the weather was virtually clear, so we decided a hike to the highest point on the island was in order. Thailand approaches inclines like the Aztecs and Mayans: “We don’ need no stinking switchbacks- Jus’ build steps. 100’s of steps. 1,000’s if necessary” The path to the viewpoints begins with a few hundred steps. Coincidently, it is also the tsunami evacuation route. About a 100 steps up a sign points to a level area for the tsunami congregation area. We continue on for another few hundred to the first viewing area… then up the steep path to the top of the mountain. The views are indeed exceptional.

Thai Cultural Note: It is considered incredibly poor form to lose your temper for any reason. Yelling at a person demonstrates a complete lack of self-control. However… If someone has you that pissed off, it is perfectly acceptable to kick or swat the nearest available dog. Every dog in Thailand has been kicked or swatted at least once. You get to vent your frustration, the dogs really don’t seem to notice, and you have impressed whoever is watching with your deity-like self-control.

The worst storm in 46 years is barreling across the Gulf of Thailand, north of us a hundred kilometers or so. It is flooding everywhere from Surat Thani north to Bangkok. We are just getting the fringes here. Our next destination is in the Gulf, the island of Koh Samui. Yes, it is getting hit as well. We figure it is the big storm of the season and it will be just fine by the time we arrive… in two days.

We attempt to climb in the early afternoon. Humidity has been so high all of our gear is damp and sticky. Nothing will air dry in this particular weather. It is a frustrating attempt, and we hang it up fairly quickly. It’s Happy Hour, and also time to finalize the travel arrangements to Koh Samui- Boat to Krabi, Bus to Surat Thani, Boat to Na Thon (Samui), and van to bungalow at Lamai beach. It will take as long to travel this 200 some odd kilometers as it takes to fly from Hawaii to Sydney… Thaime is an interesting thing. We start at the ferry here at 8:40am.

Thailand- Bangkok to Ao Nang (20-29 April 2007)

20-29 April 2007 Bangkok to Ao Nang

Thai Air has spectacular customer service. It is almost impossible to stay happy and content on a 9.5-hour flight, yet they manage it. Ours is an afternoon/evening flight, leaving Brissie at 3:20 and arriving in Bangkok at 9:30 (3 hour time change). There were two Ozzies who were “well into the piss” during the flight, and in general were acting like a couple of pre-pubescent grommets. The flight attendants cut them off about halfway through the flight. A number of people from our section of plane commented strongly during the deplaning that those types of blokes are the ones that ruin it for all Ozzies in SE Asia. We were just happy that we weren’t apologizing for some rude Canadian.

The new BKK international airport, Suvarnabhumi, has many similarities to the Denver airport: Millions of Baht in graft and corruption during planning and construction, an airport 30 minutes from anything- including lodging, built for political expediency rather than any incredible increase in quality and convenience, and its opening last fall (September 2006) was a fiasco of biblical proportions- misdirected flights, lost and destroyed luggage, ticketing computers fried, conflicting signage and airport staff with no clue, immigration control short staffed and uninformed, and a few hundred thousand really pissed off passengers.

All this being said, the internal logistics have been handled extremely well by the time we arrived. We breeze through immigration, customs is a smile and a wave, and the metered taxi area was well marked. The “near airport” hotels are still a 30-minute (minimum) taxi ride away. We try to reserve the first nights lodging anywhere in advance, especially if we expect a late arrival. This time it was at the Yamato Hotel (“near the new airport”…). We jump in a taxi about 10:15pm local time. A handy trick is to have a printout of your hotel address in Thai script, and a picture if possible. Unfortunately the web site we booked through was in Roman script. Our very friendly taxi driver had to physically call the hotel to figure out where it was.

Bangkok is constructing an extension to the Skytrain (their elevated train system) that will run into the district of the hotel. It was mid-day full-on peak hour traffic at 10:30 at night. It was almost an hour for our 30-minute trip. The hotel staff was incredibly gracious, even after 11:00. (A very Thai thing by the way- it is “The Land of Smiles”, more on that in a bit) The room is clean and serviceable, the mattress welcoming. Tomorrow we figure out how we are getting south.

A brief constitutional was in order after a typical “American” breakfast Thai-style: A unique poached/fried egg, ham(?) slice, toast, tea, and a truly mystery-meat “sausage”. (Normally we have “Asian breakfast”- spiced rice soup with chicken and veggies, this hotel just assumed farang would want farang food) The sun is already heating the blast furnace that is Bangkok. Stepping outside the hotel caused an immediate and full opening of every single pore and sweat gland in the body. If you watch carefully you can see little tiny geysers erupting all along any exposed surface. Shirts and shorts are immediately drenched. It turns out the hotel is in the middle of a local’s neighborhood. We are the whitest (and tallest) bodies for blocks. Traffic is already stopped for kilometers due to the skytrain construction zone. The primary Thai mode of transport is the scooter. Traffic rules are more like suggestions, and pretty much anything goes. It is mostly an English drive country, unless at any given moment it is more expedient to be American drive. It is also the living embodiment of the expression “If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk”. Scooters and smaller cars don’t hesitate to use the sidewalk, either with or against traffic.

Bangkok is the largest population center we have been in for months. Almost 15 million people call it home: Just under 4 times the entire population of New Zealand, and three-quarters the population of Oz. Thailand itself has a population of roughly 65 million. Bangkok is built on a very large lower river delta (read: swamp) and has a permanent blue haze. This haze is a heady blend of exhaust (both two and four stroke), humidity (rarely less than 80%), garbage (food based and other), and the truly organic smell of shallow drain septic. The effect keeps many of the five senses fighting to not be first up- each one trying to push the other senses to the front of consciousness. As with all sensory inputs, you get used to it all eventually. It is not our plan to be here (Bangkok) long enough to find how long eventually really is. That being said, even in the insane press of humanity that is Bangkok, Thailand has a certain feel of “ease” that is pleasant to just relax and experience.

Just so travelers don’t become complacent and think things are too easy, the old airport, Don Muang, is still used by three of four airlines for some domestic flights. For example, Thai Air, our preferred carrier, operates morning and evening domestic flights from Suvarnabhumi, but mid-day flights all use Don Muang. Some international flights into BKK have transfers to domestic flights in Don Muang. The US East coast/West coast best examples I can give are these: Arrive in Kennedy then catch a shuttle to Newark, or arrive in LAX and shuttle to Orange County (John Wayne). It is very important to know exactly which airport you are flying out of. It can take as little as 45 minutes to shuttle between airports, but you really should allow almost two hours…

Krabi is today’s destination. We want an early afternoon flight, so we need to get to Don Muang. It is not close to the hotel… Our driver had no English, but JD’s smattering of Thai (with suitable horrible accent we’re sure) and the help of the hotel staff still got us where we needed to be.

Krabi is the capital of Krabi province, south of the Gulf of Thailand and on the Andaman Sea. It is a market town. That means lots of the provincial merchants trade amongst themselves here. It is an access gateway to most of the recreation opportunities it this part of the Andaman Sea: diving, climbing, sightseeing, resort islands, undeveloped islands, etc. Ao Nang [“Oh-Nong” or “Ow-Nong”] is the road accessible town near Railay Beach. During our last visit, pre-tsunami (PT) it was a developing town with a decent infrastructure. It is the cusp of the “low season”, some lodging is on low season rates, and others will be converting next week. We had researched a few reasonable looking places, and had an idea what price range to start negotiations.

The trip from the airport to Ao Nang was the first real issue of tonal inflection subtlety… Thai, like many Asian languages, depends more upon inflection and tone of a word to define its meaning. There are five tonal intonations- rising, falling, low flat, mid flat, and high flat. An example often referred to is the sentence “Mai mai mai mai mai.” The translation is “Wet wood doesn’t burn” each “mai” has a different inflection… there are also no consistent rules concerning the Romanisation of Thai words. Even Thais themselves can have a multitude of “English” spellings of the same word or phrase (“Thank you” for a male is spoken “Kawp Khun Krahb” which you may see written as Gawg Khun Kawp, Kwap Kum Krawp, Khawb Khun Khawp, or any number of additional variations. They are all still pronounced exactly the same way! Westerners, for example, will often indicate a question by a rising intonations. This does not role over to Thai at all… Additionally there are distinct southern, central, and northern dialects. A common issue is a Western businessman learning his Thai from a bargirl (A young lady of negotiable affection…typically originally from the very impoverished northeast) and then trying to impress a local central Thai corporate head with is command of the language. He will think he is saying something like “Mr. Thaksin, your business is most impressive. I feel it would be beneficial for both of our companies to find a way to work together.” When he is actually saying, “Hey Big Man Thaksin, you have pretty store. We make good love each other. Happy meeting”. This example is not as extreme as it sounds…

JD had the name, address and phone number of Phra Nang Place (pronounced [“prahnyahng ply”] written out in English, exactly as it was on the website. We hired a fixed rate car at the airport. JD handed him the address, and confirmed it was “Pranyahng Place”. He and the driver threw the words back and forth a few times, JD trying to be consistent in pronunciation and the driver trying to understand… The driver handed us a tourist map, which luckily had a Phra Nang Place ad. (Of course it was written Phranang Place, but the address did match.) The driver still didn’t get it, as the ad did not have the Thai script name either. He called his dispatch and had an extensive conversation… Dispatch called him back in a few minutes. He turned to JD, and in what JD swore was the exact way he had been saying it, said, “You go Prahnyahng Ply?” to which we smiled and agreed. JD figures initially he was probably saying “fried pepper sand” or some such ridiculous word grouping. Thankfully Thais are infinitely patient if you are making the effort, and most importantly, staying calm while doing it. (To really confuse things, in this region there is also Phra Nang town, a Phra Nang beach on Railay, Pha Ngan Island

The hotel was clean and well appointed. A newer building, less than two years old, and with all the amenities: high speed internet, cable, mini bar, A/C, hot water showers, and great little balconies overlooking the street action. We managed to negotiate to just more than half the posted rate for a weeks stay. It is a half-mile walk or so to the beach and longtails, and there are a number of restaurants and food stalls in the immediate area. The evening thunderstorms began in earnest, with a warm tropical deluge and light show for our entertainment. The condenser in the rooms A/C decided it had had enough. There was a dripping sound, and it wasn’t coming from the outside, it began to sound like the shower was running… A small waterfall had issued from the a/c vent and was splashing merrily onto the floor. Our own private water feature. Very Feng Shui. The staff had already shifted to night crew; a younger lady with very little English. She happily moved us to the room next door, while not really understanding why. (We know this because the next morning an Ozzie couple ended up in the same room, with the same issue- they moved as well.)

The weather cleared enough to find an early evening snack. It is food stall territory. For those who don’t know our love and attachment to food stalls, a brief catch-up: Thais are consummate grazers. They eat all day. Little snacks, meals, treats, and drinks are spontaneous deeds throughout the day. Enterprising Thais have custom sidecars on their scooters with burners, ice chests, small canopies, and whatever specialty implements are needed for their specific foodstuff. In the evening, when main stores close, they pull up on the sidewalk. During the day, some will always be found just parked somewhere. Some are “semi-permanent” with little tables and a son/nephew/cousin waiter. (In almost all cases, women own, run, and handle all the cash in the stall). Just like diners in the States, look for the busy ones. There will be a Pad Thai specialist (or two…), a fried rice stall, a crispy roasted and fried things stall, Things We Haven’t Figured Out Yet stalls, and the Interestingly Prepared Seafood stall. We are suffering form sticker shock… the last time we were here, you could get a fresh plate of chicken Phad Thai for THB 25 (about $0.60 US). Due to market forces, the same plate of Phad Thai now costs THB 30 (about $0.87 at current exchange rates). We will need to seriously analyze our food budget…

Railay [Rye-lay] Beach is only accessible by boat. It is part of the mainland, however the approach terrain is rugged, and it is not economically viable to tunnel. Not to mention it would totally destroy the appeal of the place anyway. It, Ton Sai [Tone-Sigh], and Phra Nang beaches access the premier climbing walls in Thailand. All were hit by the Tsunami, though none had the same level of destruction as Phuket and Phi Phi. Longtail boat taxis provide the transport service for everything from people to pre-cast cement septic pipes. Before (PT) a partially organized “pack” of longtail drivers would tout you as you walked towards the beach. If you wanted a boat, they sat you down until there was a minimum of eight people and off you went. At the end of the trip you handed the driver 50 Baht per person. Done. Easy, efficient, effective. The unstoppable march of progress has added a level of bureaucracy to the process. Now, you walk up to the ticket booth, and for 60 Baht (120 with return) buy tickets. THEN you walk to the staging area and sit and wait for at least eight people to load a boat and travel. All the drivers have blue and gold shirts identifying them as the Ao Nang Longtail Drivers Club. It works, and I’m sure it wouldn’t stay this way if the drivers weren’t keen on it. We both liked the old way better.

Railay still has just a few scars from the wave. A few piles of rubble mark the locations where buildings were not rebuilt. Otherwise development has been keeping pace with progress… More than a few new “resorts” have implanted themselves into the surrounding hillsides. They look nice, and do seem to work with the surrounding jungle. King Climbers (Railay.com), our primary climbing shop had moved within the YaYa Resort complex and there were now six or seven additional other shops instead of three. We picked up the latest climbing guide and had a bit of a walk-about. After a pair of icy-cold big beers we started the return-to-Ao-Nang process. The blue & gold shirted drivers could be found huddled together over a three-card poker game. Lots of Baht flying around. We said “Ao Nang! -Ao Nang!”, the secret words of travel. Two of the group smiled and indicated a spot of shade and replied, “wait”. Two English blokes were there, and had apparently been waiting a while. We had not prepared… No books, No beach mat, no swimsuits. It is indeed the low season. We wait just under an hour when a group of Japanese tourists are ready to leave. Lesson learned: Pack time-occupying stuff. For the record, our longest wait will end up being just less than three hours. We were well prepared for that one.

It is the actual seasonal cusp as well and has left many climbing walls of our skill level exposed to direct sun throughout the day. This particular direct sun beats straight down upon our 9 degrees north latitude with very little concern for our northern European roots. Reaching for the next bolt/sling results in a small torrent of sweat that begins at the finger joint and results in a visibly moving stream by the armpit. Gross? Yes. A hindrance? Yes. A motivator to get to the rock really early? Absolutely. Kimberly observed an actual sweat cataract gushing along JD’s spine by the second move of a moderate climb. “Ewwwwww” is the word of the day. The smell of the day too…

We made it a point to be on one of the first longtails over to Railay the next morning. We arrived at the wall about 8:30. If we could get to the beach at 7:00, we might make the next earlier boat. Not likely to happen, but it’s a thought. The first climb of the day is a moderate 5 (5.8 Yosemite). 12 meters, not technical, but a fun climb nonetheless. JD has more mass than KK. Enough so he can lift her easily with a lead fall, and often times, just coming over a shelf while descending. She will often sit with her feet against the wall to minimize this. The heat, humidity and sand combined to cause an exceptional amount of heat to be generated in her belay device. A new combination of rope friction and equipment heat prevented her from controlling his decent speed… JD got to drop the last ten to twelve feet of his belay (luckily into the sand of the beach.) He was not happy. KK was, if you could imagine, less happy. Beside herself with guilt and worry, she was in quite the state. She, for all intensive purposes, dropped her hubby off a cliff. Adding to the issue, two or three climbing classes were at the rock. At least a dozen brand new climbers and their instructors saw someone dropped on belay. JD had a minor ankle tweak and a small knee glitch. He was functional, but not feeling overly forgiving at the moment. Maintaining a Thai attitude of Jai Ren (Cool Heart), he did not lose his mind. The instructors, in a very Thai fashion, where concerned, but could not offer assistance unless asked. We quietly packed up our gear and moved to a different wall. Two climbs just to demonstrate we could and it was time to relax and assess.

To help assuage her guilt pangs, KK needed an order of mango sticky rice. That, and a few beer Changs can always assuage what ails you… KK had the rice, JD had the Changs. We where prepared for the Longtail wait this time. Books, beach mat, cash for the beach snack vendors, sun block. JD watched the card game for a while, trying to figure out how it was played. No luck. He figures another couple of months of Thai language and he might get it.

A day off was in order. Ao Nang has an OK beach, a bit rougher than Railay. Visibility isn’t as good, and there are more issues with Longtail emissions. We found an excellent small restaurant (Big food stall). Perpetual Happy Man, a beverage vendor here during our last visit, still had affordable drinks, and was right next door to a great fruit shake/roti vendor. Some balcony time watching the daily commuters on their scooters is always good for a chuckle. The scooter is the family sedan of Asia. Literally an entire family, plus the occassional pet, stacks up on a scooter and of they go. A couple of massages (Helga and Ingrid- the little Thai ladies can really fold you into different origami shapes…) rounded out the day.

Back to the Wall of Shame. KK, while not completely keen on her belay device, manages to belay her husband with the same solid technique she has displayed these last three years. A few climbs and it becomes HOT damn HOT. Off to the Longtail waiting area. We are totally ready for a long wait, and not disappointed. Almost three hours. It’s all good. Little Muslim boys selling beer out of coolers, pineapple vendors, snack vendors, even people willing to shave your feet for a few Baht. The longtail drivers recognize us by now. “Ao Nang Ao Nang” is the birdcall of the day.

We have found a great DVD vendor. Some “real”, most pirate. You can’t buy a licensed DVD anywhere in Asia, even if you tried. THB 100 ($2.90 US) for ANY movie, in theaters or not… Buy five, get one free! This particular vendor has exceptional English. We use him as our personal Thai language instructor. Money well spent. We learn proper pronunciation of numbers, a few new greetings and departures, and he is in general a funny guy. (We picked up over three days, in no particular order: Blades of Glory, Constantine, The Departed, Over the Hedge, Little Miss Sunshine, Tom Yung Goong (The Protector), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, For Your Consideration, and Rocky Balboa.) The DVDS player in the laptop is very good.

Weather was iffy the next day. Another hang around Ao Nang day. A cute little tout for massage approached KK. We decided to see her deal. Turns out she was the actual owner of a beachfront massage platform in a beachfront massage platform zone. More or less about twenty different massage “huts” on the Eastern edge of the Ao Nang beach. We both had a foot shave and scrub, as well as massage. It will never cease to amaze us what you can do with ten dollars here…Post massage was a new food stall with tables. Absolutely fabulous. Next to it was the “Volks Bar”, a streetside “bar” built from an old Volkswagen van. The top lifted, and the side windows opened. Three little tables, and the fullest cocktail menu ever seen. Good pours as well.

We manage another day of climbing. We think it‘s time to move to Phi Phi (Pee-Pee) island. We’ll shift locations the day after tomorrow.

We have our ‘Best Day Ever” here. An early Longtail to Railay and then kayak rentals. We paddle around to Phra Nang Beach: A loop around a few nearby karsts (The big limestone monoliths that pop up out of the sea), and cave explorations then onto the beach. This area is accessible by a hike over from Railay, but this is definitely the way to go. Princess cave and Tum Choee wall are a short walk from the end of the beach. We watch a few climbers, including an amputee who is missing the distal half of his right arm. We will never again complain about lacking holds during a climb. We paddle over to TonSai beach, home of the 6b+ to 8c overhang climbs ( 5.10d to 5.14). Some of the most challenging climbing on the planet. Lunch on the beach allows observation of a few highly skilled climbers working the routes.

A delicious food stall dinner, a cocktail or two, and we prepare for the morning journey to Phi Phi Island. While Ao Nang has indeed changed, it is still an enjoyable stop on our journey.