1-9 July, Thailand 2, Part 1, South

1-9 July Thailand 2, Pt 1- South with the Massengills

Bangkok

We have Thai immigration and customs transit down pat. A brief stop by plant quarantine to clear our vanilla beans and we are off to Quality Suites. The Skytrain spur to the new airport has made amazing progress in a month. At least three kilometer of support platforms have been completed in just these few weeks. We are very excited to see the corner night market behind the hotel is already up and running. Food Stalls! We are a farang zephyr, sonic booms in our wake, dropping Baht and collecting yumminess. Little baggies of Tom Kha, little fritter thingies, a kilo and change of rambutan (a lychee-type stone fruit), some chicken-on-a-stick, some noodle stuff, and of course- extra peppers for everything! We carry our haul up to the room and let the feast begin.

Jazz is very big in Bangkok. HRM The King is an accomplished jazz saxophone player. He even has a few albums out. Therefore jazz is A Good Thing. There is a weekly Sunday night jam session at The Jolly Roger jazz club. It is near the Emporium shopping center and easily accessible from the skytrain. The last train back to Mon Chit station picks up in the Phrom Phong station around 11:30, so we get to enjoy a few mixed sets. A core group of three musicians bring on additional players, and rotate in and out as well. The music is good, and well worth the trip down.

Our friends the Massengills are set to arrive sometime after one AM. Scott, Jill and their daughters Danielle(14) and Jonna(13) are having their first International Family Trip (Canada never counts, it is just the socialist-light version of the US anyway…). They were delayed out of SeaTac, however Northwest held the connecting flight in Japan so odds where really good they were on the plane. JD waits up, with instructions to awaken KK at the arrival. JD ever the tour guide had sent explicit instructions on how to maneuver BKK and get a taxi to take you to where you actually want to go. One never knows if these things will work until the actual field trial… The taxi rolled up at 1:20 and a surprisingly awake family hopped out. KK made it down before the awakening and we all sat and caught up over a few home-made vanilla stoli’s and snacks. Our first really extensive conversations in American English in months!

We all will be hopping a flight to Phuket later in the morning. The time swing from the west coast is 14 hours ahead, so we had thought a few low-stress days on the beach to reset their internal clocks would be good. Ao Patong is about as touristy as you can get and still find some actual Thailand underneath, sometimes way underneath... Many may recall the Thai tsunami videos in ’04, almost all of that footage was from Patong. We had disembarked here from the repositioning cruise in ‘04, and it had been our first taste of Thailand. It is where we discovered the nirvana of Food Stalls! Happily Patong has more than fully recovered from the wave. Old businesses have been rebuilt, and many new buildings have been added. Patong has the deserved reputation as being a smaller Pattaya. (Pattaya being the home of 100’s of ex-pat retiree’s living for the joys of negotiable affection.) It is also a primary stop for Ozzie, German, and Italian tourists. Patong, Phi Phi, Bangkok, Samui and occasionally Chiang Mai are the typical stops fit into 10-day and 2-week packages.

Patong, Phuket

Our full baggage load is again upon us. Climbing gear is the lion’s share of the extra weight. The Massengills are hit by the shear physicality of the humidity. We still sweat (KK actually “mists”), we just stopped noticing it months ago. After a non-eventful flight we hire a van at Phuket International to bring us to the Andatel hotel. With a party of six, and all of our stuff cars just won’t work. Of course it stops at the tour company home office. JD uses the Secret Language, a clever mix of yes’s, no’s, smiles and nods, to get away without signing up for a single thing while still saving the tout, driver and ourselves face.

The Andatel Hotel is two blocks off the beach and just a block or so from food stall row. Nicely appointed rooms and a pool. An immediate run to the beach is in order.

There are huge waves banging the Andaman coastline of Phuket, and all of western Thailand. A cyclone had recently pounded northeast India and Bangladesh. The tailing waves from this event are still bouncing back and forth across 1,000’s of miles of the Andaman Sea, Bay of Bengal and Indian Ocean. This results in some pretty solid rollers and a huge low-tide rip. Many travelers, the Massengills included, do not care. They are here to get in the ocean, they are getting in the ocean. Period. (There is a portion of the chaos theory that explains the mechanism of weather: A butterfly flapping its wings in Tokyo can begin an air displacement effect that results in the formation of a hurricane in the Atlantic. One of JD’s favorite fiction authors, Terry Pratchett, has named this the Quantum Weather Butterfly in his novels. Before I blather on too much into theoretical physics, the real world has direct and measurable reactions globally from strong weather systems.) After a brief splash around we headed off to a big family Thai massage session.

The women folk are all upstairs; JD and Scott are side-by-side downstairs. Some Thai massage practitioners use tiger, monkey or dragon balm during the process, requiring shirts to be off. Our practitioners are having a bit too much fun… They made Scott and I hold hands for a bit, then his nipples fascinated them… They were so sad for JD when they found he had no “babies”. This has been the case throughout Asia when locals discover KK and JD are without offspring. (More on the paradigm behind that in a few posts) Everyone enjoyed his or her first Thai massages. US$6 still means something here!

Ahhh food stall land. A bit has changed in these past two years: there are fewer stalls, each one takes up more space, and a roof-like structure is being installed over the whole parking/eating area. (During the day this is the parking lot for a strip mall)

Chez Six-From-The-End, our previous favorite is no longer around. We give Three-North-Of-The-Middle a shot. Not cheap by Thai standards but tasty. Red Curry Prawns, noodles, veggies and a few Big Beer Changs. The 5 prawns weighed in just over a kilo… (2.2 lbs) Smaller stalls work the end of the strip and have more traditional food stall fare for other nights.

Nick’s HandleBar pub and motorcycle repair is still next-door to the Andatel. They were untouched by the wave. Years back JD had been introduced to “Nick”, who at the time was a large loquacious Ozzie. This time we all got to meet Nick, a smiling middle-aged Thai gentleman. JD assumed the new Nick had bought the place. He was incorrect. The bar had been taking the piss with him previously! The Bastards! The “new” Nick, apparently amused by JD’s confusion, bought us a round. All is right with the world again…

After finishing at Nick’s, JD, Scott and Jill enjoy a walk-about through the adult recreation portion of town. Working girls (and lady-boys…) are strategically dressed to entice passers-by into their drinking corner. Being low season it is as not as hardcore as it could be. (Patpong, the true destination for adult distraction in Bangkok, has the touts proffering “menus” of assorted skill sets of genital dexterity for the true connoisseur.)

It has been a few weeks since we had straight beach time. We have paled a bit… but we do have a bit of base tan left. The Massengills do not. A day of sun, beach snacks and big waves results in a large farang lobster fest. Red is the new white. Lots and lots of aloe vera to go around. It doesn’t stop anyone from a second day at the beach, though this time we set up camp in the shade.

Many expats have mentioned the Thai ability to replicate business models. Apparently innovation is not a cultural strong point. I would debate this to some degree, as I have seen incredible adaptations and some great “MacGuivered” contraptions.

OK- for those under thirty and maybe even those over 60: MacGuiver was an 80’s TV show with a lead character who oftentimes found himself in dire circumstances. In order to escape he would build a steam engine out of two ballpoint pens, a balloon and a PEZ dispenser, or a remote controlled robot out of an apple core, paper clip and a used typewriter ribbon (Again for the “too damn young” generation: a “typewriter” is an antique contrivance that was used to print papers. It evolved into the modern keyboard…). This seemingly incredible engineering ability was oftentimes assisted by his trusty Swiss Army Knife.

Anyway- this mindset is why you find ten stores in a row selling the exact same stuff. If Lek is selling red t-shirts to tourists, then it must be the thing to sell. Pom will then open a red t-shirt shop right next door. Pornsak will see both Lek and Pom being business people and feel he too must sell red t-shirts. This self-replication really has nothing to do with whether or not people are actually buying the red t-shirts. This is highly beneficial to the tourist however. You can almost always guarantee finding that red t-shirt (or whatever else you may want) for the price you want if you hit enough vendors.

This mimicry applies to entertainment as well. It seems that at some point in time a Thai producer traveled the US and hit the top entertainment locals: Vegas, Disney and Hollywood. He came home and had an epiphany that resulted in FantaSea Phuket. A Disney-meets Tim-Burton-meets-Cirque D’Solei extravaganza based on the mythological history of Thailand. It has live elephants, acrobats, battles, puppets, ghosts, chickens, goats, comedy, magic and pyrotechnics. Jonna wasn’t feeling well (too much sun plus a time-change thing) so Scott stayed behind with her while KK, Jill, Danielle and JD went off to the show. It was over the top and highly entertaining. Worth a trip to Phuket. After the show you get to feed ‘naners and cane to the baby elephants. Good stuff.

Ao Nang, Krabi

We choose the overland route to Ao Nang, our next stop. Some climbing at Railay, and a more laid back atmosphere is in order. Phranyang Place is still available, and the ladies are happy to see us again.

Walk east along the beach to the imposing brick gate and then pass through into massage heaven. Twenty Bamboo pole-barn type structures, each a private massage business. Mrs. Boonchoo uses a tried and true marketing technique: Free Stuff. Her personal approach is free fruit. Pineapple and banana. Since all six of us wanted simultaneous massage, she brought in friends from nearby salals. Massage Party! She was a daily routine during our stay in Ao Nang.

Afterwards she would give us extra fruit for the troop of ling noi (little monkeys or literally Monkey Little) up the beach. Aggressive little buggers, they saw the fruit coming and were more than happy to meet it half way…

The weather is not overly cooperative, making the longtail trip to Railay less than pleasant. We actually limit the trip to just once. A climb each and we had to catch a longtail back before the sea became too rough. As it was the whole boatload, both people and stuff, was deluged in the breakers. It was a harrowing experience, and a bit on the edge. The boat actually stopped about halfway so the driver could pour water on the engine. The “cool” water intake was regularly being pulled from the sea, so the engine wasn’t able to draw enough to maintain temperature. Our driver was incredibly skilled. I would not want to be maneuvering a heavy keel through this water, much less a shallow draft longtail. The protected anchorage for the longtails is on the far side of Ao Nang from our place, so transport is needed. We pull a clown-car routine and pile six giant farangs (OK, four giant farangs and two regular size farangs) and our climbing gear into a tuk-tuk built for three. The tires really wanted to explode, or least jump their rims, yet did not. The driver managed to keep us upright while maneuvering speed bumps and traffic. It was even more adventurous than the longtail ride, and that is saying something…

However, all was not lost. Khun Hok, Happy Smiling Man with the beverage stall, was set up as usual. He would plop five little plastic stools in the gutter and serve up cocktails. Hok’s Gutter Bar is what we call it. Even with the scrappy sea, it was good to hang on the beach. Food was plentiful and delish. During a late evening stroll, Jill and JD were a bit ahead of Scott. As they pass a more active outdoor bar one of the lady touts asks if their friend (Scott) is married. Jill replied in the affirmative and indicated quite directly it was to her…

We had checked out a flyer for the Lazy Bar. Live rock ‘n roll and Fire Dance nightly. It’s a 4 kilometer tuk-tuk ride out of town. The girls were comfortable with DVD’s in the hotel so the adults all piled in tuk-tuk for a ride. Five Thai guys decided to open a bar that was NOT a tourist girly bar. One was a host, one was a bartender, and three were the rock’n roll band. They were a blast. A regular was on vocals for a Thai cut. He was a “real” Muay Thai boxer. The women wanted some skin, so Scott walked up the stage and through gesture and mime got the idea across that there were ladies with needs. The boxer proudly complied to the delighted screams and wolf calls of the entire place. Yes, he was ripped, and I would really not want to be on the receiving end of his wrath. The host was also the Fire Dancer. He had enjoyed more than a few SangSom’s during the course of the evening yet still had a wildly energetic and complex routine that seemed to combine Muay Thai, Kung Fu and classic fire dancing. Catching airborne flaming balls on a chain, behind your back, in the dark, while enjoying a good buzz, with your TOES certainly impressed the hell out of us.

With the rainy season in full swing in the south, we decide to head north to Chiang Mai. We try a new carrier, NokAir. The “Nok Plus” is their business class, which has a higher baggage weight allowance, bigger seats and a free newspaper! It is also less than half the price of the coach seat on Thai Air. We do have a few hour layover in Bangkok (Don Muang-old airport).

KK and Jill stay with the luggage at an airport cafe. JD, Scott and the Girls head to IT Square, the electronics mall a few kilometers from the airport. JD needs a new CF card for his camera (note for parents: CF is a type of memory card for digital cameras. It is what is used instead of film). After this many months of abuse: vibration, humidity, temperature swings and erasure, his current microdrive CF is randomly losing photos. This does not make him a happy camper. Doesn’t matter how many hundreds of photos you take, inevitably the time you only take one of a unique event is the one that will get lost in electron limbo. Memory is cheap, especially in Asia. He picks up a 2G fixed CF for about US$20.

The flight to Chiang Mai is short and sweet.

Thailand- Bangkok to Ao Nang (20-29 April 2007)

20-29 April 2007 Bangkok to Ao Nang

Thai Air has spectacular customer service. It is almost impossible to stay happy and content on a 9.5-hour flight, yet they manage it. Ours is an afternoon/evening flight, leaving Brissie at 3:20 and arriving in Bangkok at 9:30 (3 hour time change). There were two Ozzies who were “well into the piss” during the flight, and in general were acting like a couple of pre-pubescent grommets. The flight attendants cut them off about halfway through the flight. A number of people from our section of plane commented strongly during the deplaning that those types of blokes are the ones that ruin it for all Ozzies in SE Asia. We were just happy that we weren’t apologizing for some rude Canadian.

The new BKK international airport, Suvarnabhumi, has many similarities to the Denver airport: Millions of Baht in graft and corruption during planning and construction, an airport 30 minutes from anything- including lodging, built for political expediency rather than any incredible increase in quality and convenience, and its opening last fall (September 2006) was a fiasco of biblical proportions- misdirected flights, lost and destroyed luggage, ticketing computers fried, conflicting signage and airport staff with no clue, immigration control short staffed and uninformed, and a few hundred thousand really pissed off passengers.

All this being said, the internal logistics have been handled extremely well by the time we arrived. We breeze through immigration, customs is a smile and a wave, and the metered taxi area was well marked. The “near airport” hotels are still a 30-minute (minimum) taxi ride away. We try to reserve the first nights lodging anywhere in advance, especially if we expect a late arrival. This time it was at the Yamato Hotel (“near the new airport”…). We jump in a taxi about 10:15pm local time. A handy trick is to have a printout of your hotel address in Thai script, and a picture if possible. Unfortunately the web site we booked through was in Roman script. Our very friendly taxi driver had to physically call the hotel to figure out where it was.

Bangkok is constructing an extension to the Skytrain (their elevated train system) that will run into the district of the hotel. It was mid-day full-on peak hour traffic at 10:30 at night. It was almost an hour for our 30-minute trip. The hotel staff was incredibly gracious, even after 11:00. (A very Thai thing by the way- it is “The Land of Smiles”, more on that in a bit) The room is clean and serviceable, the mattress welcoming. Tomorrow we figure out how we are getting south.

A brief constitutional was in order after a typical “American” breakfast Thai-style: A unique poached/fried egg, ham(?) slice, toast, tea, and a truly mystery-meat “sausage”. (Normally we have “Asian breakfast”- spiced rice soup with chicken and veggies, this hotel just assumed farang would want farang food) The sun is already heating the blast furnace that is Bangkok. Stepping outside the hotel caused an immediate and full opening of every single pore and sweat gland in the body. If you watch carefully you can see little tiny geysers erupting all along any exposed surface. Shirts and shorts are immediately drenched. It turns out the hotel is in the middle of a local’s neighborhood. We are the whitest (and tallest) bodies for blocks. Traffic is already stopped for kilometers due to the skytrain construction zone. The primary Thai mode of transport is the scooter. Traffic rules are more like suggestions, and pretty much anything goes. It is mostly an English drive country, unless at any given moment it is more expedient to be American drive. It is also the living embodiment of the expression “If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk”. Scooters and smaller cars don’t hesitate to use the sidewalk, either with or against traffic.

Bangkok is the largest population center we have been in for months. Almost 15 million people call it home: Just under 4 times the entire population of New Zealand, and three-quarters the population of Oz. Thailand itself has a population of roughly 65 million. Bangkok is built on a very large lower river delta (read: swamp) and has a permanent blue haze. This haze is a heady blend of exhaust (both two and four stroke), humidity (rarely less than 80%), garbage (food based and other), and the truly organic smell of shallow drain septic. The effect keeps many of the five senses fighting to not be first up- each one trying to push the other senses to the front of consciousness. As with all sensory inputs, you get used to it all eventually. It is not our plan to be here (Bangkok) long enough to find how long eventually really is. That being said, even in the insane press of humanity that is Bangkok, Thailand has a certain feel of “ease” that is pleasant to just relax and experience.

Just so travelers don’t become complacent and think things are too easy, the old airport, Don Muang, is still used by three of four airlines for some domestic flights. For example, Thai Air, our preferred carrier, operates morning and evening domestic flights from Suvarnabhumi, but mid-day flights all use Don Muang. Some international flights into BKK have transfers to domestic flights in Don Muang. The US East coast/West coast best examples I can give are these: Arrive in Kennedy then catch a shuttle to Newark, or arrive in LAX and shuttle to Orange County (John Wayne). It is very important to know exactly which airport you are flying out of. It can take as little as 45 minutes to shuttle between airports, but you really should allow almost two hours…

Krabi is today’s destination. We want an early afternoon flight, so we need to get to Don Muang. It is not close to the hotel… Our driver had no English, but JD’s smattering of Thai (with suitable horrible accent we’re sure) and the help of the hotel staff still got us where we needed to be.

Krabi is the capital of Krabi province, south of the Gulf of Thailand and on the Andaman Sea. It is a market town. That means lots of the provincial merchants trade amongst themselves here. It is an access gateway to most of the recreation opportunities it this part of the Andaman Sea: diving, climbing, sightseeing, resort islands, undeveloped islands, etc. Ao Nang [“Oh-Nong” or “Ow-Nong”] is the road accessible town near Railay Beach. During our last visit, pre-tsunami (PT) it was a developing town with a decent infrastructure. It is the cusp of the “low season”, some lodging is on low season rates, and others will be converting next week. We had researched a few reasonable looking places, and had an idea what price range to start negotiations.

The trip from the airport to Ao Nang was the first real issue of tonal inflection subtlety… Thai, like many Asian languages, depends more upon inflection and tone of a word to define its meaning. There are five tonal intonations- rising, falling, low flat, mid flat, and high flat. An example often referred to is the sentence “Mai mai mai mai mai.” The translation is “Wet wood doesn’t burn” each “mai” has a different inflection… there are also no consistent rules concerning the Romanisation of Thai words. Even Thais themselves can have a multitude of “English” spellings of the same word or phrase (“Thank you” for a male is spoken “Kawp Khun Krahb” which you may see written as Gawg Khun Kawp, Kwap Kum Krawp, Khawb Khun Khawp, or any number of additional variations. They are all still pronounced exactly the same way! Westerners, for example, will often indicate a question by a rising intonations. This does not role over to Thai at all… Additionally there are distinct southern, central, and northern dialects. A common issue is a Western businessman learning his Thai from a bargirl (A young lady of negotiable affection…typically originally from the very impoverished northeast) and then trying to impress a local central Thai corporate head with is command of the language. He will think he is saying something like “Mr. Thaksin, your business is most impressive. I feel it would be beneficial for both of our companies to find a way to work together.” When he is actually saying, “Hey Big Man Thaksin, you have pretty store. We make good love each other. Happy meeting”. This example is not as extreme as it sounds…

JD had the name, address and phone number of Phra Nang Place (pronounced [“prahnyahng ply”] written out in English, exactly as it was on the website. We hired a fixed rate car at the airport. JD handed him the address, and confirmed it was “Pranyahng Place”. He and the driver threw the words back and forth a few times, JD trying to be consistent in pronunciation and the driver trying to understand… The driver handed us a tourist map, which luckily had a Phra Nang Place ad. (Of course it was written Phranang Place, but the address did match.) The driver still didn’t get it, as the ad did not have the Thai script name either. He called his dispatch and had an extensive conversation… Dispatch called him back in a few minutes. He turned to JD, and in what JD swore was the exact way he had been saying it, said, “You go Prahnyahng Ply?” to which we smiled and agreed. JD figures initially he was probably saying “fried pepper sand” or some such ridiculous word grouping. Thankfully Thais are infinitely patient if you are making the effort, and most importantly, staying calm while doing it. (To really confuse things, in this region there is also Phra Nang town, a Phra Nang beach on Railay, Pha Ngan Island

The hotel was clean and well appointed. A newer building, less than two years old, and with all the amenities: high speed internet, cable, mini bar, A/C, hot water showers, and great little balconies overlooking the street action. We managed to negotiate to just more than half the posted rate for a weeks stay. It is a half-mile walk or so to the beach and longtails, and there are a number of restaurants and food stalls in the immediate area. The evening thunderstorms began in earnest, with a warm tropical deluge and light show for our entertainment. The condenser in the rooms A/C decided it had had enough. There was a dripping sound, and it wasn’t coming from the outside, it began to sound like the shower was running… A small waterfall had issued from the a/c vent and was splashing merrily onto the floor. Our own private water feature. Very Feng Shui. The staff had already shifted to night crew; a younger lady with very little English. She happily moved us to the room next door, while not really understanding why. (We know this because the next morning an Ozzie couple ended up in the same room, with the same issue- they moved as well.)

The weather cleared enough to find an early evening snack. It is food stall territory. For those who don’t know our love and attachment to food stalls, a brief catch-up: Thais are consummate grazers. They eat all day. Little snacks, meals, treats, and drinks are spontaneous deeds throughout the day. Enterprising Thais have custom sidecars on their scooters with burners, ice chests, small canopies, and whatever specialty implements are needed for their specific foodstuff. In the evening, when main stores close, they pull up on the sidewalk. During the day, some will always be found just parked somewhere. Some are “semi-permanent” with little tables and a son/nephew/cousin waiter. (In almost all cases, women own, run, and handle all the cash in the stall). Just like diners in the States, look for the busy ones. There will be a Pad Thai specialist (or two…), a fried rice stall, a crispy roasted and fried things stall, Things We Haven’t Figured Out Yet stalls, and the Interestingly Prepared Seafood stall. We are suffering form sticker shock… the last time we were here, you could get a fresh plate of chicken Phad Thai for THB 25 (about $0.60 US). Due to market forces, the same plate of Phad Thai now costs THB 30 (about $0.87 at current exchange rates). We will need to seriously analyze our food budget…

Railay [Rye-lay] Beach is only accessible by boat. It is part of the mainland, however the approach terrain is rugged, and it is not economically viable to tunnel. Not to mention it would totally destroy the appeal of the place anyway. It, Ton Sai [Tone-Sigh], and Phra Nang beaches access the premier climbing walls in Thailand. All were hit by the Tsunami, though none had the same level of destruction as Phuket and Phi Phi. Longtail boat taxis provide the transport service for everything from people to pre-cast cement septic pipes. Before (PT) a partially organized “pack” of longtail drivers would tout you as you walked towards the beach. If you wanted a boat, they sat you down until there was a minimum of eight people and off you went. At the end of the trip you handed the driver 50 Baht per person. Done. Easy, efficient, effective. The unstoppable march of progress has added a level of bureaucracy to the process. Now, you walk up to the ticket booth, and for 60 Baht (120 with return) buy tickets. THEN you walk to the staging area and sit and wait for at least eight people to load a boat and travel. All the drivers have blue and gold shirts identifying them as the Ao Nang Longtail Drivers Club. It works, and I’m sure it wouldn’t stay this way if the drivers weren’t keen on it. We both liked the old way better.

Railay still has just a few scars from the wave. A few piles of rubble mark the locations where buildings were not rebuilt. Otherwise development has been keeping pace with progress… More than a few new “resorts” have implanted themselves into the surrounding hillsides. They look nice, and do seem to work with the surrounding jungle. King Climbers (Railay.com), our primary climbing shop had moved within the YaYa Resort complex and there were now six or seven additional other shops instead of three. We picked up the latest climbing guide and had a bit of a walk-about. After a pair of icy-cold big beers we started the return-to-Ao-Nang process. The blue & gold shirted drivers could be found huddled together over a three-card poker game. Lots of Baht flying around. We said “Ao Nang! -Ao Nang!”, the secret words of travel. Two of the group smiled and indicated a spot of shade and replied, “wait”. Two English blokes were there, and had apparently been waiting a while. We had not prepared… No books, No beach mat, no swimsuits. It is indeed the low season. We wait just under an hour when a group of Japanese tourists are ready to leave. Lesson learned: Pack time-occupying stuff. For the record, our longest wait will end up being just less than three hours. We were well prepared for that one.

It is the actual seasonal cusp as well and has left many climbing walls of our skill level exposed to direct sun throughout the day. This particular direct sun beats straight down upon our 9 degrees north latitude with very little concern for our northern European roots. Reaching for the next bolt/sling results in a small torrent of sweat that begins at the finger joint and results in a visibly moving stream by the armpit. Gross? Yes. A hindrance? Yes. A motivator to get to the rock really early? Absolutely. Kimberly observed an actual sweat cataract gushing along JD’s spine by the second move of a moderate climb. “Ewwwwww” is the word of the day. The smell of the day too…

We made it a point to be on one of the first longtails over to Railay the next morning. We arrived at the wall about 8:30. If we could get to the beach at 7:00, we might make the next earlier boat. Not likely to happen, but it’s a thought. The first climb of the day is a moderate 5 (5.8 Yosemite). 12 meters, not technical, but a fun climb nonetheless. JD has more mass than KK. Enough so he can lift her easily with a lead fall, and often times, just coming over a shelf while descending. She will often sit with her feet against the wall to minimize this. The heat, humidity and sand combined to cause an exceptional amount of heat to be generated in her belay device. A new combination of rope friction and equipment heat prevented her from controlling his decent speed… JD got to drop the last ten to twelve feet of his belay (luckily into the sand of the beach.) He was not happy. KK was, if you could imagine, less happy. Beside herself with guilt and worry, she was in quite the state. She, for all intensive purposes, dropped her hubby off a cliff. Adding to the issue, two or three climbing classes were at the rock. At least a dozen brand new climbers and their instructors saw someone dropped on belay. JD had a minor ankle tweak and a small knee glitch. He was functional, but not feeling overly forgiving at the moment. Maintaining a Thai attitude of Jai Ren (Cool Heart), he did not lose his mind. The instructors, in a very Thai fashion, where concerned, but could not offer assistance unless asked. We quietly packed up our gear and moved to a different wall. Two climbs just to demonstrate we could and it was time to relax and assess.

To help assuage her guilt pangs, KK needed an order of mango sticky rice. That, and a few beer Changs can always assuage what ails you… KK had the rice, JD had the Changs. We where prepared for the Longtail wait this time. Books, beach mat, cash for the beach snack vendors, sun block. JD watched the card game for a while, trying to figure out how it was played. No luck. He figures another couple of months of Thai language and he might get it.

A day off was in order. Ao Nang has an OK beach, a bit rougher than Railay. Visibility isn’t as good, and there are more issues with Longtail emissions. We found an excellent small restaurant (Big food stall). Perpetual Happy Man, a beverage vendor here during our last visit, still had affordable drinks, and was right next door to a great fruit shake/roti vendor. Some balcony time watching the daily commuters on their scooters is always good for a chuckle. The scooter is the family sedan of Asia. Literally an entire family, plus the occassional pet, stacks up on a scooter and of they go. A couple of massages (Helga and Ingrid- the little Thai ladies can really fold you into different origami shapes…) rounded out the day.

Back to the Wall of Shame. KK, while not completely keen on her belay device, manages to belay her husband with the same solid technique she has displayed these last three years. A few climbs and it becomes HOT damn HOT. Off to the Longtail waiting area. We are totally ready for a long wait, and not disappointed. Almost three hours. It’s all good. Little Muslim boys selling beer out of coolers, pineapple vendors, snack vendors, even people willing to shave your feet for a few Baht. The longtail drivers recognize us by now. “Ao Nang Ao Nang” is the birdcall of the day.

We have found a great DVD vendor. Some “real”, most pirate. You can’t buy a licensed DVD anywhere in Asia, even if you tried. THB 100 ($2.90 US) for ANY movie, in theaters or not… Buy five, get one free! This particular vendor has exceptional English. We use him as our personal Thai language instructor. Money well spent. We learn proper pronunciation of numbers, a few new greetings and departures, and he is in general a funny guy. (We picked up over three days, in no particular order: Blades of Glory, Constantine, The Departed, Over the Hedge, Little Miss Sunshine, Tom Yung Goong (The Protector), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, For Your Consideration, and Rocky Balboa.) The DVDS player in the laptop is very good.

Weather was iffy the next day. Another hang around Ao Nang day. A cute little tout for massage approached KK. We decided to see her deal. Turns out she was the actual owner of a beachfront massage platform in a beachfront massage platform zone. More or less about twenty different massage “huts” on the Eastern edge of the Ao Nang beach. We both had a foot shave and scrub, as well as massage. It will never cease to amaze us what you can do with ten dollars here…Post massage was a new food stall with tables. Absolutely fabulous. Next to it was the “Volks Bar”, a streetside “bar” built from an old Volkswagen van. The top lifted, and the side windows opened. Three little tables, and the fullest cocktail menu ever seen. Good pours as well.

We manage another day of climbing. We think it‘s time to move to Phi Phi (Pee-Pee) island. We’ll shift locations the day after tomorrow.

We have our ‘Best Day Ever” here. An early Longtail to Railay and then kayak rentals. We paddle around to Phra Nang Beach: A loop around a few nearby karsts (The big limestone monoliths that pop up out of the sea), and cave explorations then onto the beach. This area is accessible by a hike over from Railay, but this is definitely the way to go. Princess cave and Tum Choee wall are a short walk from the end of the beach. We watch a few climbers, including an amputee who is missing the distal half of his right arm. We will never again complain about lacking holds during a climb. We paddle over to TonSai beach, home of the 6b+ to 8c overhang climbs ( 5.10d to 5.14). Some of the most challenging climbing on the planet. Lunch on the beach allows observation of a few highly skilled climbers working the routes.

A delicious food stall dinner, a cocktail or two, and we prepare for the morning journey to Phi Phi Island. While Ao Nang has indeed changed, it is still an enjoyable stop on our journey.