Up early to meet the sawngthaew, an extended bed pick-up (Ute for the Ozzies…) with a roof and bench seats on the bed, that is taking us to the ferry that will be transporting us to Koh Phi Phi (yes- "Pee Pee"). In probably the first recorded case in Thaime history, it arrived at exactly 8:20, the precise time it was supposed to! We were the first two passengers. The “crew” is two young ladies, a driver and another assistant. They check your receipt, pat a color-coded sticker onto your shirt (More on that in a moment), and expertly stack your bags on the back platform. Their English is minimal, however the job doesn’t really require advanced second language skills. We get on just fine with our minimalist Thai and smiles. At the third pick-up, a Chinese tourist and family hopped on. They were just day-tripping to Phi Phi, so were not encumbered by baggage. The father realized he had not gotten his change at the hotel desk and was trying to get the sawngthaew to turn around. He had some English, and that was the language he was trying to meet the attendants in the middle with. We were maybe half a klick away when a professionally dressed lady (business, not pleasure… though I guess they can be the same thing) came zipping along side on a scooter, waving a fistful of Baht. The father was very pleased, and we all had a good chuckle about the Thai sense of duty. I can’t imagine any concierge from a hotel in the Western world dropping everything, jumping in his/her car, and chasing down a guest they already know will be returning later in the day to give them their change.
A hurried and somewhat anxious discussion had begun amongst the attendants and driver. The driver was gesturing at his watch, and the attendants were furiously flipping through the reservation sheets. After more than a few words, the driver turned the truck around and headed back up the street. Lo and behold, he stopped in front of our hotel… Phra Nang Place. The Ozzie couple that had been in our old room got on the truck. The male half had mentioned the previous evening they were going to Phi Phi today as well. JD had just assumed they made transfer arrangements with a different company as there are many, even in a tiny town like Ao Nang. They squeezed in and looked at us and exclaimed, “You let them leave us behind!” Smiling while they said it. We joked about the unique experience of the sawngthaew being there right on schedule. They were also Thailand veterans and had a solid grasp of Thaime.
If I haven’t defined Thaime yet: Imagine a country the size of Texas living on a time scale that makes island-time seem like New York City light. The expression “New York Minute” isn’t even a myth here. On most vacation islands you relax and let the day take you where it may. Clocks exist, mostly to define the boundaries of happy hour. Apply this idea of time as an existential reference point to an entire country. Thais understand the conceptual nature of the idea of “schedule”; they just really don’t have a physical marker or waypoint to actually wrap the working model around. I am fairly positive that it has something to do with Buddhist tenets, as 90% of Thais are Buddhist.
The Ao Nang marina is west of town proper. There are any number of powerboats, longtails and a few different ferries in the mix. Ferries tie up “rafted”. You will sometimes need to walk across three or four ferries to get to yours. That’s why you are given the color-coded sticker. No language barrier with color. Crew simply look at your sticker and point you to the correct boat.
The 9:00 ferry to Phi Phi, which is also the 9:30 ferry to Phi Phi (also known as the 8:30, 10:15 and
on rare occasions the 10:00), is the SAME boat that is the 9:00 Railay ferry to Phi Phi. One boat, two locations: space-time continuum hole? Magic dust? Nope. Thaime! The boat leaves at 9:40, stops at Railay around 9:55, and heads off to Phi Phi for an “11:00” arrival. Along the way Chicken 
Island is off the starboard side. Approaching from the north you can clearly see the “chicken head” pillar for which the island is named. As you come even with the island it becomes distinctly phallic. We can only imagine “Big Wanker Island” wouldn’t have the same family appeal as a tourist draw…though you never really know.The Phi Phi ferry dock, a solidly built concrete and steel project, survived the tsunami. The boat arrives on “Thaime”. It’s only 11:05. The day was moist. The day was hot. The day was most definitely sticky. The packs are heavier, us being closer to the equator and all. KK parks herself about 250 meters in and instructs JD to return when he has found shelter. On Phi Phi, the low season is more relative than in other locations. It is considered the busiest tourist destination in the country. A staggeringly high percentage of all visitors to Thailand pass through Phi Phi sometime on their trip. “Low season” starts in three days. No one is cutting slack on rates first. JD finds a decent fan room for two nights, and we will search out a different deal without hauling 70 kilos on our backs.
Quick Thai Language Primer (1):
Farang: [fah-rahng], “non-Thai person”, most commonly westerners. Not derogatory or an insult, just what we are.
Krab/Ka: polite positive evocative at the end of a sentence or statement. Krab is used by men, Ka, women. This grammatical propriety is why many Thais end every English sentence with “yes”, the nearest English equivalent.
Sawadee krab/ka: [sah-wah-dee krahb/kah] “hello”, general greeting, can also be used as goodbye, similar to Hawaiian “aloha”
Khun sabai dee mai: [coon sah-bah dee my] “how are you”
Sabai dee krab/ka: “I’m fine”, Mai Sabai Dee: “I’m not fine”
Chai: “yes”
Mai chai: “no”, literally-“not yes”
Pawp gon mai: [pope gone my], “ see you again”
Khawp Khun Krab/Ka: [kawp coon krahb/kah], “thank you”
Nueng, saeng, saam, sii, haa, haw, jeat, phaet, gaow, sip, sip-et, sip-saeng, yii-sip, yii-sip-saeng, saam-sip, nueng-rawy, nueng-pan: [nung, song, sahm, see, ha, hoe, jet, pad, gow, sip, sip-et, sip-song, yee-sip, yee-sip-song, sahm-sip, nung-roy, nung-pahn]. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 20, 22, 30,100,1000.”
Pet: “spicy”, pet-pet “really spicy”. Thais who see a farang order pet-pet, and actually eat it, are very impressed. Most are impressed to see a farang have any spice at all. JD has adapted quickly to Thai-hot.
Prik: [preek] chili peppers, “Prik nam Plaa”: chilies in fish sauce- a condiment
Nit noi: [knit-noy] “very little”, “very tiny”
“Ph” is always a hard “p”, “Th” is always hard “t”, and “K” is most often a glottal “g” with a hint of “c” as in cat.
All right, enough of that for now. It is better to be a successful mimic here than figuring it out on paper. Thais love to assist, as long as you ask for assistance. It is bad form to presume a person wants help, and you and they both would “lose face” if you were corrected offhand. However, if you ask, they will gleefully attempt to help you with enunciation and vocabulary.
We had spent some time on Phi Phi during the last trip. We left the island about 4 weeks pre-tsunami (PT), and frankly we were a bit nervous about what we would find this trip. How did our favorite eateries fare? How did the people we had met do? Had the tone of the island survived?
Phi Phi shows much more residual visual of the tsunami damage. The palms are widespread and gapped and a few debris piles are still present. At the narrow point you can see from one side to the other. The developed region is on a spit of land that connects two mountainous ends. The spit is maybe two kilometers long, and spreads from about a 100 meters at its narrowest to a shy 400 meters at its widest. The highest point is about 4 meters above the high tide line. The tsunami was almost 7 meters high. The math is pretty straightforward. There are still over 1,000 unaccounted for, some say closer to 2,000. A small memorial meditation garden has been created, and is tucked off the beaten path for privacy.
The island was originally not going to be re-developed. I suspect that idea lasted as long as Britney’s first marriage. It has been re-developed with a vengeance. Many of the (PT) businesses were able to build again thanks to generous assistance from assorted local, national and international groups and the Thai government. Many new enterprises also saw an opportunity to get in while the gettin’ was good. There is now a lot more concrete box construction instead of the original “tropical” wood and thatch. Does it make sense? Absolutely. Is the island still a recreational paradise? Yep. Have the residents added a layer of jaded resolution to their everyday lives? Sadly yes. Can you still find the neat places to stay? If you look hard enough. How about
actual happy residents? They are also still there: just further off the paving stone paths. What cannot be rebuilt are the ages of character that are absorbed by a place. I’m sure that over time a new character will develop. For us there is a sense of mourning for that which was, while adapting to and exploring that which is now .The island has no roads. Paving brick and dirt pathways are the thoroughfares. There had been two of three motorized scooters (PT), mostly to move construction material around. Now there are quite a few more. Not city, or even village, amounts, but enough that you are very aware, especially on an island with no roads. Bicycles have had a HUGE population explosion. They seem to have bred like gerbils. NEVER leave two bikes alone and unsupervised. Next thing you know you’ll have thirty or forty. You can spend a lot of time dodging bikes and puddles while wandering about. Many businesses have PT and rebuilding photo montages. The mosque has a large aerial photo taken the day after the event mounted on the outer doors. The Chao Ley had, originally settled Phi Phi, as well as most of the Andaman islands. The Chao Ley are a fisher peoples that are predominantly Muslim. It shows were it itself had been, with its new location also indicated. It is the primary school on the island, and is still in the process of being rebuilt.
Phi Phi has been enjoying the same afternoon thunder-boomers as Ao Nang/Railay. Here they leave large brown lakes in the places that the “street” used to be. Strategic placement of boards and bricks allow one to fjord the largest of these ponds, provided you can be fleet of foot and delicate in your landings. We stay dry most of the time…
Climbing is excellent on Phi Phi. The primary wall is relatively easy to access (For our climbing mates: A 40 meter 5.0 (Yosemite) scramble to the base, after a nice beach walk) with at least a dozen 5.10a (Yosemite) and under bolted/slinged routes, as well as a few dozen high-end climbs, a few multi-pitch, and fantastic views to admire. We head up to the rock about 11:00. It was F*%# - F*%# HOT! Another one of those river of sweat, spontaneous pore eruption scenarios. JD led a 5+
(5.8 Yosemite) and pissed at least a liter of water from his elbows on the way up. Rappelling is the new way down. KK is pleased to not have to lower JD’s bulk, and JD likes to rap anyway. Makes him feel “Commando”, and not in a Kramer way… A rope-gun (guide) is with a couple on a nearby route. An English bloke. He lets us know the sun swings past the face after noon, and the rock cools quickly after that. His client’s head down and he pops into a conveniently placed hammock for a lunchtime siesta. His next group will arrive in about an hour.We sit in the shade and drink another 3 liters of water, waiting for the sun to move along. The English bloke had a classic Thai story: A year ago he showed up for a three-week holiday. Fell in love with his massage gal, then married her so he could bring her back to England. Her visa is almost set, and they go back for a visit in three weeks. Odds are against them actually staying there, but he does want her to meet his family and mates.
MOMS-SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH- DO NOT READ!:
He also shared another story: Two weeks ago another climbing guide was rope-gunning a 6a+ (about a 10c) with an experienced partner and she was at the chains. A little Thai bloke was on belay, and both the bloke and the belayer watched her daisy into the chains (daisy is a specific type of strap with a locking carabineer. It is strong enough to tow trucks) and she announced the fact as well. The belayer released a large amount of slack, as is procedure, so she could thread the chains, prepare to rappel, etc. Next thing both of them knew the rope was screaming through the belay device and she was in freefall. The little Thai fellow tried to stop the rope, but it was too late. She landed on the rocks in the belay zone. It was not her time. A shattered hip and pelvis, plus significant spinal trauma was the eventual assessment. The English bloke immediately hauled ass to the “hospital” down the trail and about 400 meters up the beach. No doctor on duty. No doctor on the island! They gave him an army surplus canvas stretcher and told him to bring her down… None of the climbers that day had much in first aid training. They did know they needed splints. A popular item here is the beach mat. A bamboo like roll-up made of artificial fibers, two people can lie on one comfortably (We have one), and it is also a great rope protector, place to sit while between climbs, etc. When rolled it is solid. They strapped her to a dozen or so and then got her on the stretcher. A line of thirty or forty people passed her down the quite steep and treacherous access trail to a waiting speedboat. She was whisked off to Phuket, about an hour and a half away across choppy seas. She is fine, in a partial body caste and in good spirits. This story came up because we had been discussing visa runs.
Visa runs are a regular process here in Thailand. When you have a tourist, “O” or “B” visa, you need a stamp every 60 or 90 days. Extended tourist visas need a stamp every 60. If you have a “VOA” (Visa on Arrival) you need a stamp every thirty days, and a fresh airline ticket demonstrating your ass is leaving within the next thirty. The gravity gal was supposed to leave for her visa run the next day… Any number of travel companies offer “visa runs”, bus or train trips across the nearest border for a “day of shopping” and a new stamp on the way back into the country. If you overstay your visa, it’s a 500 Baht a day fine, plus you face the wrath of an overworked and underpaid immigration officer. I mention underpaid mostly because the only way to avoid the Thai penal system after the first twenty-four hours is to make a significant donation to the Immigration Officials Happy Life Fund in addition to the fine. It’s definitely cheaper to leave the country… No one knows if a body cast is an acceptable excuse. Seriously. The guide hadn’t heard yet, as she was just leaving for her run the day before we met him. We need to do a visa run in mid-June. We plan to fly to Indonesia for ours… and no climbing the day before.
We found a neat little place. Chunut House was a collection of
hillside wood and thatch huts, built on stilts. The room had fans, and a full mosquito net covering the bed. A large lanai with a low sitting table and cushions rounded out the picture. Happy Hour on the Lanai was born. Phi Phi, being the party-friendly hamlet it is, has a number of stores and stalls to purchase beverages and snacks. They also sell drinking kits: A small ,or large, beach bucket, a flask size bottle of liquor (a full size bottle for the big bucket), a small bottle of herbal liqueur, and a can of soda/tonic/mixer. All you need to do is fill the bucket with ice and dump everything else in, put in the provided straw- Instant Party! We tried a mix of SangSom Thai rum, “White Shark” herbal liqueur (that’s what JD 
calls it- The label is completely in Thai with a white shark logo), and a lime soda. It was really quite tasty and refreshing. During Happy Hour the PM thunder boomers rolled in. Cocktails and 500-bid ,our card game of choice, amidst the hiss crackle and boom of a monsoon season storm. A perfect way to unwind after a long day of… well, maybe unwind isn’t the right word, a perfect way to de-stress? Loosen up? OK, it’s just fun to hang on the porch, have a cocktail and play cards. We did go climbing after all, which was sort of like work. Exertion anyway. Who says work can’t be fun too?The storm continued through to the next day. Not pissing down the whole time, there were periods of drizzle and lighter gray patches. Only to those from Seattle can the difference cloud color be considered a change in weather. We found a great little bookstore/café complete with wireless. As long as you spent 60 Baht (US$1.80) you can surf all day. A mocha was 65 Baht. We had coffees, surfed the n
et, people watched and had a general lazy day of it. People watching in Thailand easily competes with people watching in Vegas. Different cast of characters, but always something interesting walking, riding or ambling by.All of our fly-fishing friends have told us about the insect hatching rhythms. Having lived on the river, it was a regular event. A large percentage of insects time their
breeding cycle to the full and new moons. It is the day before the full moon. We had only really noticed evening and night hatches until now… Mid afternoon was a cloud of a different color altogether. Tens of thousands of winged things were flitting, flopping and darting everywhere. Mostly they seemed to be a large ant or small termite like beastie. Lots of different varieties though. Significantly more than just an average swarming. Toads, frogs, lizards and geckos were having an absolute feast day. Normally nocturnal and cautious, they didn’t care if you went eye to eye. A couple of the hoppers just sat in one spot 
spinning in circles. No matter which way they faced, there
was more food! JD spotted a huge variegated gecko on the hut wall, easily 10 inches long (25cm). He (the gecko) was a cooperative poser. The second wave was around 10 pm. Even the mozzie net was breached, overwhelmed by shear numbers. The critters were not biters, but even a benign bug is going to wake you up crawling across your neck and face. Sleep was not deep and restful this particular evening.O
ur 15th wedding anniversary was greeted by AM thundershowers. After brekkie, KK decided she wanted a pedicure for her present, then we both had Thai massage, and dinner at Pum Thai restaurant. Since we haven’t had the chance to spend much time together, it was good to become reacquainted…The next morning the weather was virtually clear, so we decided a hike to the highest point on the island was in order. Thailand approaches inclines like the Aztecs and Mayans: “We don’ need no stinking switchbacks- Jus’ build steps. 100’s of steps. 1,000’s if necessary” The path to the viewpoints begins with a few hundred steps. Coincidently, it is also the tsunami evacuation route.
About a 100 steps up a sign points to a level area for the tsunami congregation area. We continue on for another few hundred to the first viewing area… then up the steep path to the top of the mountain. The views are indeed exceptional.Thai Cultural Note: It is considered incredibly poor form to lose your temper
for any reason. Yelling at a person demonstrates a complete lack of self-control. However… If someone has you that pissed off, it is perfectly acceptable to kick or swat the nearest available dog. Every dog in Thailand has been kicked or swatted at least once. You get to vent your frustration, the dogs really don’t seem to notice, and you have impressed whoever is watching with your deity-like self-control.The worst storm in 46 years is barreling across the Gulf of Thailand, north of us a hundred kilometers or so. It is flooding everywhere from Surat Thani north to Bangkok. We are just getting the fringes here. Our next destination is in the Gulf, the island of Koh Samui. Yes, it is getting hit as well. We figure it is the big storm of the season and it will be just fine by the time we arrive… in two days.
We attempt to climb in the early afternoon. Humidity has been so high all of our gear is damp and sticky. Nothing will air dry in this particular weather. It is a frustrating attempt, and we hang it up fairly quickly. It’s Happy Hour, and also time to finalize the travel arrangements to Koh Samui- Boat to Krabi, Bus to Surat Thani, Boat to Na Thon (Samui), and van to bungalow at Lamai beach. It will take as long to travel this 200 some odd kilometers as it takes to fly from Hawaii to Sydney… Thaime is an interesting thing. We start at the ferry here at 8:40am.
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